flutt3rshy
hopeless NEET
- Oct 22, 2023
- 8
I have date in mind for when I want to do it. it'll be by the end of january. i'm making plans now, i just hope it works. it's risky, but i will have to call authorities to pick me up, since i don't want my family to find me. i just hope they'll let me die.
i'm scared of writing goodbye notes. i don't wanna do it, but it'd feel horrible not to.
the date being set and therefore a timer running is so incredibly comforting. i know i don't have to keep going for that much longer. just gotta push through a bit more. just a little bit more. and then i can leave. until then, i will make everyone hate me. i will distance myself and try to move through the pain of being alone.
i got my BPD diagnosed recently. i know it won't get better, I know i'm a lost cause. the doctor also told me i'm chronically suicidal. so why… should i live like this?
i'm excited to leave. of course i'm scared too and i'm terrified at the thought of my loved ones hurting because of me. but i have to be selfish this one time.
i'm scared of writing goodbye notes. i don't wanna do it, but it'd feel horrible not to.
the date being set and therefore a timer running is so incredibly comforting. i know i don't have to keep going for that much longer. just gotta push through a bit more. just a little bit more. and then i can leave. until then, i will make everyone hate me. i will distance myself and try to move through the pain of being alone.
i got my BPD diagnosed recently. i know it won't get better, I know i'm a lost cause. the doctor also told me i'm chronically suicidal. so why… should i live like this?
i'm excited to leave. of course i'm scared too and i'm terrified at the thought of my loved ones hurting because of me. but i have to be selfish this one time.
