nobody really cares, do they?

[raikko]

Last Sunday, I went out with friends. On my way back, someone committed suicide on the train platform. 「人身事故」was being announced for two hours straight as i sat on the train, waiting to go home. Nobody cared, some people were annoyed, other people left for another line, but overall nobody cared.

Thinking about it during my commute, as I sat, as I walked out of the train, and as I got on my bus home, I realise not one person held a candle for the suffering person who made their final decision that night.

I hate my commute to Osaka, I hate Osaka City in general, but seeing everything go by as I made my way home, I thought to myself. "How many of these buildings did the person go through every day? How many people walked past him, and interacted with him? How did he feel about everything around him?" I looked at my station as I left, and I thought about how he would never get to see these buildings, go through this commute, or see those kinds of people again. The world just continues to change without him.

Then I realise, I was also initially annoyed, and maybe even frustrated when I heard our train was delayed. Everyone was annoyed. This was going to be my plan too. Would I annoy the people on my line? Would my last decision also cause people annoyance?

I'm not sure how I would feel about that. I think I'd feel bad for them, but I also feel I shouldn't be obliged to care. Wherever they are in the world, or wherever the person that killed themselves is, I hope they're all okay.

I hope everyone can be okay.

For everyone who doesn't care, I hope you're okay too.

 

[endboss]

You have a good heart!

 

[ravendrops]

You were thinking about it. That seems like something.

 

[lohre2000s]

Oh you live in Japan too? That's cool, I just moved here.
Also, I think in this specific it's more about the "rush hour" thingy than anything else. You yourself cared, which is beautiful and makes me wonder how many more people cared but were unable to show because they were already filled with problems of their own?
I don't know, in these types of situations I tend to look at the positive side, and anyway, you yourself cared. So that's already beautiful.

 

[raikko]

You have a good heart!

Thank you!

I cleaned my room today, and all I could think about was how bad of a person I was, so this helps calm those thoughts down a little.

 

[Alumina]

Oh you live in Japan too? That's cool, I just moved here.
Also, I think in this specific it's more about the "rush hour" thingy than anything else. You yourself cared, which is beautiful and makes me wonder how many more people cared but were unable to show because they were already filled with problems of their own?
I don't know, in these types of situations I tend to look at the positive side, and anyway, you yourself cared. So that's already beautiful.

i find it the saddest that we collectively are ok with attending events like that and not lift a finger because "no one else does" or because we are so filled with our own problems, yet we individually agree that we should try to prevent those events. this society is doomed and WE are not doing anything against that

 

[eggsausagerice]

Then I realise, I was also initially annoyed, and maybe even frustrated when I heard our train was delayed. Everyone was annoyed. This was going to be my plan too. Would I annoy the people on my line? Would my last decision also cause people annoyance?

since i was young i always imagined my birth and my eventual suicide being an annoyance to the people around me. i think that it's instinctual to be annoyed by someone dying in a way that inconveniences your routine, because everyone else around you thought the same thing at the same time. i wouldn't feel too guilty about it., even if i understand why. if i was the person that killed myself on the train station i would feel a little happy that one person was able to think about me and care about me even though everyone else though my death was an inconvenience. in america, it feels like people put on too much of a show when it comes to suicide, when most people will shame someone privately or say they're ungrateful if they talk about their suicidal ideation.

 

[Ashu]

Most people have some people who really care, a few relatives and friends. I've been an extraordinarily solitary person all my life, so now that my parents are gone, the only person who really cares about me is my wife, poor woman.

 

[raikko]

since i was young i always imagined my birth and my eventual suicide being an annoyance to the people around me. i think that it's instinctual to be annoyed by someone dying in a way that inconveniences your routine, because everyone else around you thought the same thing at the same time. i wouldn't feel too guilty about it., even if i understand why. if i was the person that killed myself on the train station i would feel a little happy that one person was able to think about me and care about me even though everyone else though my death was an inconvenience. in america, it feels like people put on too much of a show when it comes to suicide, when most people will shame someone privately or say they're ungrateful if they talk about their suicidal ideation.

thanks for sharing, it really means a lot

i mostly feel the same way as well. a lot of the time i feel uneasy about just about everything now