Everyone wants to be loved, it is one of the most natural feelings in the world. And even when attained it is painful, difficult, and backhanded. In truth, I believe any love outside of self-love is not enough to fix any of us, and self love is hard fought. One step, chipped fingernail, and failure at a time. It takes dedication, therapy, and possibly medication, especially when you come from a broken childhood. I'm sorry you have been failed, and I do believe that is true if you say it, but the only people capable of putting us on our feet is ourselves. Support from friends and family would be nice, and feels nice, but even then, they cannot do everything for us. Healing is a difficult, bureaucratic process that is beyond painful. I hope you might one day have someone to help you shoulder that pain, but more than that I hope you find the strength and self-worth to even just begin that process yourself. If only because no one else will do it for you or me or anyone.