No one actually gives a shit

[Surai]

and you can see it in this board. Its always looking for that next relating moment. Just something interesting for your mind to find. Stupid , its all just stupid. Because no one actually gives a shit about each other on here or anywhere. So stop pretending like you do. This shit is real and torturous for people who cant even sleep at night. Im done stalling and stalling and stalling.

 

[Grog]

I'm sorry that that's been your experience… I hope you do find some camaraderie on here or somewhere. I've made some friends on here, and I care about them deeply. They care for me too; I know that because I can feel it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say people care to an extent. People certainly empathise. But sure, we're maybe here for our own needs too. To feel less alone in struggling. To see it mirrored in others. As unkind as that seems, 'misery loves company' as they say.

As for being massively invested in someone else's life though- I think that takes an emotional strength and stability that it's likely a lot of people here don't have themselves. We're all too busy trying to cope with our own shit. Sorry to sound unkind but, I think it's somewhat unrealistic, maybe even unfair to expect a stranger to be so committed to our lives and problems. They have their own.

It can of course happen if a friendship is strucken up but- I think that is complicated. Both people- to my mind, need to be able to offer something the other needs. If it's all trauma dumping one way, it can feel too much to cope with.

In a close friendship I had years ago, we would take turns trying to 'fix' one another. But, it ws reciprocal.

But then, maybe that hasn't been your experience? Maybe you feel you are always there for others. Always giving/ helping them but they don't help in return? Do you care deeply about others? About everyone?

 

[klantedklaw]

I'd say people care to an extent. People certainly empathise. But sure, we're maybe here for our own needs too. To feel less alone in struggling. To see it mirrored in others. As unkind as that seems, 'misery loves company' as they say.

As for being massively invested in someone else's life though- I think that takes an emotional strength and stability that it's likely a lot of people here don't have themselves. We're all too busy trying to cope with our own shit. Sorry to sound unkind but, I think it's somewhat unrealistic, maybe even unfair to expect a stranger to be so committed to our lives and problems. They have their own.

It can of course happen if a friendship is strucken up but- I think that is complicated. Both people- to my mind, need to be able to offer something the other needs. If it's all trauma dumping one way, it can feel too much to cope with.

In a close friendship I had years ago, we would take turns trying to 'fix' one another. But, it ws reciprocal.

But then, maybe that hasn't been your experience? Maybe you feel you are always there for others. Always giving/ helping them but they don't help in return? Do you care deeply about others? About everyone?

You write very eloquently and succinctly.

I agree with what you say, that many people are here only for emotional support and to find a sense of belonging.

Many people may also misconstrue feelings of love (platonic and/or romantic) for co dependency. An environment like SASU is unfortunately ideal for emotionally vulnerable people to establish co dependent relationships, sometimes under the guise of something else as a way to cope with their problems. This can be misunderstood as two people "caring" for each other, but it's just a glorified coping mechanism.

Your final paragraph is interesting, why do you ask about selflessness and empathy? These are points that resonated with me and I would be very interested to know how these pertain to feeling like no one cares.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Your final paragraph is interesting, why do you ask about selflessness and empathy? These are points that resonated with me and I would be very interested to know how these pertain to feeling like no one cares.

I guess I was querying the OP's empathy towards others because I suppose in part, I think we need to be there for others to expect the same in return. Of course, there are indeed people who give and give, but sadly get nothing in return.

Some people will give selflessly but, I think a lot of us want something back. Unless a person gets something out of hearing other people's problems, I think to be really invested in that person. Interested enough to really take on their pain- as it were- to an extent anyway, I think a friendship probably needs to exist on some level. So- there's give as well as take going on.

I suppose in a way, that's partly why I in fact like this place. I actually don't want to give a person/ friend the burden of worrying about me personally. I feel like the annonymity here allows us to be empathetic in the moment but with less pressure either way to constantly be there for someone or, expect them to constantly be there for us. I suppose it is a lack of care to an extent. Certainly not an obligation to be there.

But then, I've found that to be hurtful in real life. People you hoped- perhaps foolishly expected to be there for you aren't always. And, that can feel so much worse. I try so hard to be grateful in the moment- for what people choose to give now. Of course, the OP could be right of course though. Maybe we aren't always genuine.

Here's good though because, it's an open floor. You can post something and, those who feel up to it can respond.

I'd also suggest that some people 'suffer' from too much empathy. They become overwhelmed with the struggles of others, on top of their own, so thry may simply not have the strength to always respond.

Your reference to co dependency is extremely interesting. It's something I'm mindful of because I expect I could easily latch on (again) to someone who offered a kind word. Which- isn't healthy to either person.

 

[Zardoz]

and you can see it in this board. Its always looking for that next relating moment. Just something interesting for your mind to find. Stupid , its all just stupid. Because no one actually gives a shit about each other on here or anywhere. So stop pretending like you do. This shit is real and torturous for people who cant even sleep at night. Im done stalling and stalling and stalling.

I understand where you're coming from.
I have found people on here to be representative of the general population; that being often preoccupied with themselves and their needs and ungrateful for the help and input others. They ask questions / post out of need, once they have got the information they want (or decide that you can't answer their question) they disappear without even acknowledging your help/input.
People are like this IRL too, it's not just a SaSu thing. And of course people on here are often more distraught and desperate and so not functioning normally compared to the mass population, so this is understandable to an extent.
As for making friends on here; Personally, no, not really (yet). I have tried but I think I've just got chatting to preoccupied people for who talking to people on here is mostly just a means to an end. And I'm sure I'm contributing to this set up too, I'm perhaps not especially trying or wanting to make friends or get close to people on here (as IRL too), so I can't complain too much.

 

[Dejected 55]

Most people don't care, and it isn't always because they are evil or mean or want you to have trauma. A lot of people don't care because they are selfish and want what they want and don't care if they have to hurt or neglect or ignore others to get it. There are mean/controlling people who intentionally hurt because they can, because they enjoy it, or because they see it as necessary to get what they want. Some people don't care because they have their own mess to dig out of and either can't focus on your problems too or can't even see them because theirs are so traumatic.

Ultimately, we are mostly alone unless we get extremely lucky and find the right person... and that just doesn't happen for most people. And some of us never have anyone, which is either much worse or sort of better, depending on your perspective on that.

I'm not on here to belong or to make friends. I initially came here to look for ideas on how to end my life. I believe I found what I needed. I post sometimes to vent into the universe things that I need to get out of me, but know there is no one who can or will help me. I try and provide answers when I think I know something. I still like to be helpful to others when they ask for help and I'm able to provide.

 

[Emillss]

Humans act out of self-interest. If something resonates with them, they'll care to engage with it in a meaningful capacity. If not, they'll simply just ignore it or respond to it visibly uninterested. You cannot expect a site like this to cater to every want/need, because everyone here is juggling their own burdens. Sometimes people won't give you the reply you hope for - or they may not even reply at all - and that doesn't mean they don't care. People's ability to engage with something is heavily constrained by the weight they're carrying. It's far better to get a genuine, conscientious reply rather than an empty sentence. Real care is developed through connection and mutual understanding.

 

[DeadSouls]

and you can see it in this board. Its always looking for that next relating moment. Just something interesting for your mind to find. Stupid , its all just stupid. Because no one actually gives a shit about each other on here or anywhere. So stop pretending like you do. This shit is real and torturous for people who cant even sleep at night. Im done stalling and stalling and stalling.

Hello. Do you include yourself in that? Or just 'everyone else'?

We can't know others' intentions or how anyone feels, especially on an anonymous message board, but it seems people here are genuine in offering support and wanting to help others in also coping with or deciding to end their/our tragic situations.

It is rare to even have opportunities to express and discuss these deeply intimate things that can't really be discussed or understood in daily life. Even with 'friends.' The danger that they will try to 'save' you if aware,which is mostly just prolonging your agony.

I'm personally grateful for this forum, hopefully you feel that sometime,too.

 

[synthetic_suicide]

the harsh reality is that pain is isolating

it's hard to communicate pain, much harder to understand it

there's no language for expressing pain in a way that can be digestible for others

that's why art exists

only transfigured pain has a tiny chances to be understood

and then a tiny part of who can understand can trace back the transfigured pain to the actual pain

those people can be potentially the ones who can give a shit

good luck

P.S. I mentioned art because is what resonate more with me, but anything that can wrap a raw, untranslatable pain into something that can become perceivable not directly, but obliquely will work. It's just that that raw pain is unmanageable by pretty much everybody.