Freedombus'25
Exhausted. Trying my best ig
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,659
Without all the blind hope the world tries to stuff down my throat... Life is worthless (my life.)
Things will only "get better" to the degree that can pass in my life/& circumstances.
It doesn't go very far or have the ability to be that great. I will always struggle with a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT just to be able to do basic things in life.
For me, school and a job can never be separated. My parents fucked up any funds i had saved for school and now have pretty much given up on that. So I'm on my own with it.
Which is fine but impossible. I'll either have to work full time or school part-time. I can't live without a job and enough hours so. All i wanted to start with was college.
I have yet to finish my HS diploma. That wouldn't be that hard bc of programs available.
That's just one big thing that is pretty much essential but impossible for me
There are many so i think I'll add as it comes by.
Also in regards to the people that i work with around various mental health aspects... I dont feel heard by anyone it gets tiring.
I'll be trying to talk to my community about yeah know WORLD THINGS. I can tell she kinda skims over or tunes out whenever i talk and compare in the world. Not comparing all the time is incredibly unrealistic. It's not how life actually works but apparently it should according to these workers.
I've been trying for weeks to say things in a way that cultivates some actual discussion but it's not me!!!! Holy fuck i do not know how to bring it up to her not feel there is a point. I feel like I've brought it up a few times but the same thing.
Unless my opinion or statement is completely coming from this place of self and in no way connected TO THE ACTUAL WORLD.
& even then. It's getting annoying. I have people I work with. i dont expect them to be able to talk about anything with regards to the suicidality. I can't even talk about how the world makes me feel in general.
I also hate how the world views people struggling with mental illness as some kind of?? Less than human?? Like opioids when you are mentally ill are measured in this way to "see" if they are valid. Almost always the assumption is that somehow the thoughts you are having see because of mental illness.
Not just because you are human and feel things. I'm not inherently illogical just bc i struggle with mental health.
(I'm sure this is really unorganized and has spelling mistakes. I've had feelings like these for like eve but have found it very hard to put into words these days. I'm gonna start now so. Bunch of complaining incoming)
Things will only "get better" to the degree that can pass in my life/& circumstances.
It doesn't go very far or have the ability to be that great. I will always struggle with a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT just to be able to do basic things in life.
For me, school and a job can never be separated. My parents fucked up any funds i had saved for school and now have pretty much given up on that. So I'm on my own with it.
Which is fine but impossible. I'll either have to work full time or school part-time. I can't live without a job and enough hours so. All i wanted to start with was college.
I have yet to finish my HS diploma. That wouldn't be that hard bc of programs available.
That's just one big thing that is pretty much essential but impossible for me
There are many so i think I'll add as it comes by.
Also in regards to the people that i work with around various mental health aspects... I dont feel heard by anyone it gets tiring.
I'll be trying to talk to my community about yeah know WORLD THINGS. I can tell she kinda skims over or tunes out whenever i talk and compare in the world. Not comparing all the time is incredibly unrealistic. It's not how life actually works but apparently it should according to these workers.
I've been trying for weeks to say things in a way that cultivates some actual discussion but it's not me!!!! Holy fuck i do not know how to bring it up to her not feel there is a point. I feel like I've brought it up a few times but the same thing.
Unless my opinion or statement is completely coming from this place of self and in no way connected TO THE ACTUAL WORLD.
& even then. It's getting annoying. I have people I work with. i dont expect them to be able to talk about anything with regards to the suicidality. I can't even talk about how the world makes me feel in general.
I also hate how the world views people struggling with mental illness as some kind of?? Less than human?? Like opioids when you are mentally ill are measured in this way to "see" if they are valid. Almost always the assumption is that somehow the thoughts you are having see because of mental illness.
Not just because you are human and feel things. I'm not inherently illogical just bc i struggle with mental health.
(I'm sure this is really unorganized and has spelling mistakes. I've had feelings like these for like eve but have found it very hard to put into words these days. I'm gonna start now so. Bunch of complaining incoming)
