Venting New year same fucking me

[LonelyPrince]

New year same me

Tommorrow is going to be the last day of this shithole of a Year.
Everyone will celebrate.
Everyone except me.
What's there to celebrate?

I keep thinking of those pills stored away in my drawer, aswell as the razor blades I've ordered and have to pick up. Those are the only things I'm looking forward to.

I'm not strong. I'm weak.
I've always been.
My parents have reminded me every single moment of my life that I am.
Will someone like me ever manage to achieve something? To be happy?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
If I overdose tommorrow, no one will be in the house, which means no one will call for help.

Today i played like 7 hours on call with the girl I've come to be infatuated with. Despite spending time with her, the hope i usually feel in her presence wasn't there.

It would be poetic to attempt on new year's eve, to drink, slit my wrists and swallow hundreds on pills as I rot on my bed alone.

I just hope that tommorrow I'll finally have the strength to at least do this. At least this.
Please brain just turn off and at least let me do this. I'm so tired. Too tired.

 

[maylurker]

hate every holiday including my birthday parents just force me to celebrate when i dont even want to leave my room ever

 

[Realog11]

New year same me

Tommorrow is going to be the last day of this shithole of a Year.
Everyone will celebrate.
Everyone except me.
What's there to celebrate?

I keep thinking of those pills stored away in my drawer, aswell as the razor blades I've ordered and have to pick up. Those are the only things I'm looking forward to.

I'm not strong. I'm weak.
I've always been.
My parents have reminded me every single moment of my life that I am.
Will someone like me ever manage to achieve something? To be happy?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
If I overdose tommorrow, no one will be in the house, which means no one will call for help.

Today i played like 7 hours on call with the girl I've come to be infatuated with. Despite spending time with her, the hope i usually feel in her presence wasn't there.

It would be poetic to attempt on new year's eve, to drink, slit my wrists and swallow hundreds on pills as I rot on my bed alone.

I just hope that tommorrow I'll finally have the strength to at least do this. At least this.
Please brain just turn off and at least let me do this. I'm so tired. Too tired.

New year fatter me I went down to 100 kg last year then ate back up and regained my weight and more weight

 

[Deepdense]

What are you feeling right now?

 

[LonelyPrince]

Tested out a ctb method and was left disappointed.
I'm feeling somewhat okay though, but I already know tommorrow morning I'll feel absolutely terrible and the cycle will keep going.
Thank you for asking.

 

[Deepdense]

Tested out a ctb method and was left disappointed.
I'm feeling somewhat okay though, but I already know tommorrow morning I'll feel absolutely terrible and the cycle will keep going.
Thank you for asking.

I hope the feeling won't last too long. I wish you luck in whatever you believe is right for you.