Help New user here: what should I avoid saying/doing to avoid looking like a tourist?

[thebayleaf]

hi, am new here.

i've read the rules and faq, but i'm noticing there's a culture here that i don't really know the ins and outs of yet. i'm kinda socially inept and i'm paranoid about breaking some random unspoken rule any time i post anything.

is there anything that i should avoid saying/doing? what are the dos and don'ts of sasu?

(btw, really enjoying this place. so refreshing to talk to people who aren't annoying puritans on suicide after years of hanging out on r/suicidewatch)

 

[darksouls]

hello and welcome to sasu

 

[Holu]

it's been forever since I've read the rules and I assume some of what I say is already in the rules but

Don't encourage suicide, this is a pro choice place. We might be suicidal, but there is no quicker way to get a warning or ban than encouraging someone

Don't spew pro life talking points unless you are willing to defend yourself and die on that hill

There are some morally questionable posts. Try not to just dogpile and attack people but be kind and understanding

Do not share your fucking info. There are discords and some other off site places, but please be very careful with them. Make sure you have a second account if you end up joining any of these.

Thats all that comes to my mind. Welcome to SaSu.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SS!

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Welcome. Outside of the advice given above, I would emulate me as much as possible, since I'm a paragon of virtue, netiquette, and general good behavior. Not to toot my own horn or anything.

 

[girlsrituals]

i was wondering this same exact thing lol. i haven't seen any real answers so i'm just going to pray that i don't come off as annoying. also omori icon waow

 

[TheHolySword]

You'll learn the more time you spend here. Be yourself. Don't be afraid to interact and be honest.

 

[setspiritfree]

Although I hate life has bought you here, we welcome all you guys anyway. Like others have said, you can't go wrong being yourself and don't be afraid to be honest about how you are feeling. Most of us are hurting and sometimes even on our last leg so most on here are completely understanding. I feel completely comfortable sharing my feelings on here with people I have never, and most likely, will never meet. It is kind of strange that people I have never met know my last thoughts than people I know, but at least I am not alone with my thoughts and can speak freely. It has been invaluable.

 

[U. A.]

Be aware this place is not a monolith.

On paper it's pro-right-to-die and there are a lot of kind - if hurting - souls, but there are also a lot of mouth-foaming pro-deathers. Most of the rules only exist to shield the administration and not the users, though they may accomplish the latter as a fringe benefit. See the second set of rules no one ever sees linked at the bottom of any page for a pretty obvious example of this.



Half of the members are 25 or younger.

Recognize the only thing we have in common is some degree of desire not to be alive. Don't assume everyone can, will, or should be your buddy. There have been murderous psychos on the forum

Archiving examples of violent/dangerous/creepy SaSu members

With all the talk I'm seeing of safety lately, I thought this could be a useful reminder that YES, THIS SHIT HAPPENS ON THIS SITE. New members should be able to be easily informed of this reality, and, if they choose, see the evidence. This site has rules and people break them. Some people are...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Learn how to search for things (once the function becomes available with time) because with tens of thousands of posts, there's a good chance your question has already been asked and answered in detail

Knowledge is power: make the most of "Search"

I wrote this as I have never seen a comprehensive guide to using the search function and I find it very useful. I've been interacting with more members here, some of whom are quite young, and also realised lately just how many people post in the Partners thread. This is a place where most people...

sanctioned-suicide.net

also @girlsrituals

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

it's been forever since I've read the rules and I assume some of what I say is already in the rules but

Don't encourage suicide, this is a pro choice place. We might be suicidal, but there is no quicker way to get a warning or ban than encouraging someone

Don't spew pro life talking points unless you are willing to defend yourself and die on that hill

There are some morally questionable posts. Try not to just dogpile and attack people but be kind and understanding

Do not share your fucking info. There are discords and some other off site places, but please be very careful with them. Make sure you have a second account if you end up joining any of these.

Thats all that comes to my mind. Welcome to SaSu.

Seconding all of this.

Since you're new, here is some lingo it took me a while to get the hang of:

• Pro-choice and pro-life here refer to suicide/death, not abortion.
• SI means "survival instinct," when in other spaces it means suicidal ideation. Some people still use the latter (though less so, I've seen it) so if you cannot tell the context, ask!

You will find people of all opinions here. While I'm not sure if it's a majority, chances are you'll meet more nihilists and anti-natalists here than most places on the internet.

Keep in mind that this is a space for those who are suffering. The most questionable posts are less likely to be trolls, and more likely to be jaded, isolated people. Debate is allowed to a certain extent, but I've found that if a person is very opinionated, they're less likely to be as cordial as other debate forums.

Don't worry, though. Nothing has gone too far in my experience. Mods are good at their jobs!

One last thing:
Goodbye threads have an extra layer of social rules. Telling someone to not commit suicide/CTB is frowned upon, unless that person is showing VERY clear signs of psychosis/mania/etc.

I also find it's a bit more accepted to gently encourage someone to wait if it's clear they're doing it impulsively. Things like them searching for ways to commit that second in their current vicinity, considering painful and unreliable methods like ODing in over-the-counter meds, slitting their throat, setting themselves on fire, etc.

While we support the right to die, no one should be enabled to commit in a vulnerable state that is likely to lead to disaster and/or regret. Pro-choice means you must be in the state of mind to make that choice.

 

[-Link-]

Well, I feel like an idiot. I didn't look at this thread earlier because I took the title literally, like going to a foreign country to do the thing, and... umm, yeah... I don't know... it seemed plausible at the time and I might have been half asleep still...

You'll learn the more time you spend here. Be yourself. Don't be afraid to interact and be honest.

I like this.

All the same, I'd also strongly echo @R. A. in advising wariness at all times, especially in private interactions.

People have shared a lot of good pointers in here. I expect this other thread -- A Crash Course for New Members -- should have some insights too, although I haven't exactly vetted it.

 

[monetpompo]

@girlsrituals as well

advice that has nothing to do with sasu:
watch neon genesis evangelion and serial experiments: lain. the people on the website ended up making me want to watch it and then they both became my personality. fans usually watch them around the same time. i think everyone should take some time to watch lain if they haven't already, and it really aligns with the way most people on sasu feel. as a newbie i saw lots of evangelion and lain themed profiles and that inadvertently led to me watching the shows. i can't recommend lain enough.

sasu advice:
read first, post second. reading is how you get the vibe of the site down. there's also a post about learning acronyms and stuff. some people will make posts when they're tweaking out and scared. i have posts like that. sometimes all i do is read posts like that, because i feel like i can't say anything helpful to them. you usually leave a reaction if you can't leave a comment.

one of my biggest pet peeves is someone writing a nothing burger comment because they think i want it, but it's more grating to receive a comment that says "i understand" than have a post with 0 comments on it. i just think that people should only leave comments that are longer than 3 sentences, because it shows you put thought into it. being kind and understanding is the most important thing on sasu, as well as not giving away your personal info(!!). always acknowledge that people will leave the site. getting too close to people nearing their ctb date is very taxing, and it can be easy to get into codependent or toxic relationships. sometimes people leave the site suddenly and that hurts too. it's easy to worry if someone's still alive or not.

lastly, recognize when you're spending too much time on the site: because your mental health is still important even when you're depressed!!

 

[thebayleaf]

@girlsrituals as well

advice that has nothing to do with sasu:
watch neon genesis evangelion and serial experiments: lain. the people on the website ended up making me want to watch it and then they both became my personality. fans usually watch them around the same time. i think everyone should take some time to watch lain if they haven't already, and it really aligns with the way most people on sasu feel. as a newbie i saw lots of evangelion and lain themed profiles and that inadvertently led to me watching the shows. i can't recommend lain enough.

sasu advice:
read first, post second. reading is how you get the vibe of the site down. there's also a post about learning acronyms and stuff. some people will make posts when they're tweaking out and scared. i have posts like that. sometimes all i do is read posts like that, because i feel like i can't say anything helpful to them. you usually leave a reaction if you can't leave a comment.

one of my biggest pet peeves is someone writing a nothing burger comment because they think i want it, but it's more grating to receive a comment that says "i understand" than have a post with 0 comments on it. i just think that people should only leave comments that are longer than 3 sentences, because it shows you put thought into it. being kind and understanding is the most important thing on sasu, as well as not giving away your personal info(!!). always acknowledge that people will leave the site. getting too close to people nearing their ctb date is very taxing, and it can be easy to get into codependent or toxic relationships. sometimes people leave the site suddenly and that hurts too. it's easy to worry if someone's still alive or not.

lastly, recognize when you're spending too much time on the site: because your mental health is still important even when you're depressed!!

watched NGE in 2023 while i was in the psyche ward (perfect place to watch it) and i fucking loved it. after i got out, first thing i did was watch end of evangelion and it fucking floored me, stared blankly at the screen for a good few minutes after it ended, just trying to process it. i had never seen anything like it before. evangelion is very close to my heart and it's a tradition to rewatch EOE whenever i'm seriously considering ending things.

didn't like the evangelion rebuilds that much tho. not bad or anything, just felt that they were very unnecessary additions to an already concluded story.

as for Lain, i never really got the hype for it. watched the first half of the show last year and hated how intentionally vague it was. didn't see the appeal of a show that's doing everything in its power to be as incomprehensible as possible. ended up dropping it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyway i see your lain and NGE so i raise you omori in return. you gotta play omori. yeah, it's kinda slow and the gameplay could definitely be a little better, but no piece of media has ever touched my soul the way omori did. it's very much in the same spirit as NGE: "here's a cast of the most ridiculously compelling characters you've ever seen. now watch me break them." i am normally an emotional brick wall, but omori made me sob like a newborn baby. i would give anything to be able to experience it for the first time again.

 

[monetpompo]

as for Lain, i never really got the hype for it. watched the first half of the show last year and hated how intentionally vague it was. didn't see the appeal of a show that's doing everything in its power to be as incomprehensible as possible. ended up dropping it.

it's a vibe based show i fear. i understand how you can have that feeling towards it though, since i didn't understand it much either. the second time i watched it (may be cope) i understood it more. it didn't seem like it was being vague on purpose, it just makes more sense when you watch the whole thing. the atmosphere was my favorite part. i also just wanted something that wasn't overstimulating to watch during a depressive episode.

so i raise you omori in return. you gotta play omori. yeah, it's kinda slow and the gameplay could definitely be a little better, but no piece of media has ever touched my soul the way omori did. it's very much in the same spirit as NGE: "here's a cast of the most ridiculously compelling characters you've ever seen. now watch me break them."

the amount of depressed people that tell me to play omori is staggering, yet i still choose to not play it because i'm evil. i only played the first 30 minutes in high school then kind of stopped. i know it's good because so many people like it but i just don't feel like playing through all of it. OFF is another rpg adjacent game that quickly became my favorite. you've probably heard of it because OFF fans have an overlap with omori fans, or they're at least in the same circle. it's a very quick game. i recommend the original version and not the steam port.

i plan on watching EOE eventually. i got into a really bad fight with my friend after finishing NGE so i ended up not watching the movie. NGE is unrelated to the fight.

 

[thebayleaf]

it's a vibe based show i fear. i understand how you can have that feeling towards it though, since i didn't understand it much either. the second time i watched it (may be cope) i understood it more. it didn't seem like it was being vague on purpose, it just makes more sense when you watch the whole thing. the atmosphere was my favorite part. i also just wanted something that wasn't overstimulating to watch during a depressive episode.

i did really like the vibe/atmosphere of it. might give it another shot now im on adhd meds again and have an attention span slightly longer than a goldfish's.

the amount of depressed people that tell me to play omori is staggering, yet i still choose to not play it because i'm evil. i only played the first 30 minutes in high school then kind of stopped. i know it's good because so many people like it but i just don't feel like playing through all of it. OFF is another rpg adjacent game that quickly became my favorite. you've probably heard of it because OFF fans have an overlap with omori fans, or they're at least in the same circle. it's a very quick game. i recommend the original version and not the steam port.

OFF is the game with the baseball bat guy, right? i've seen some screenshots and fanart of it, don't really know a thing about it, tho. will check it out next time i'm looking for something new to play

 

[U. A.]

@girlsrituals as well

advice that has nothing to do with sasu:
watch neon genesis evangelion and serial experiments: lain. the people on the website ended up making me want to watch it and then they both became my personality. fans usually watch them around the same time. i think everyone should take some time to watch lain if they haven't already, and it really aligns with the way most people on sasu feel. as a newbie i saw lots of evangelion and lain themed profiles and that inadvertently led to me watching the shows. i can't recommend lain enough.

sasu advice:
read first, post second. reading is how you get the vibe of the site down. there's also a post about learning acronyms and stuff. some people will make posts when they're tweaking out and scared. i have posts like that. sometimes all i do is read posts like that, because i feel like i can't say anything helpful to them. you usually leave a reaction if you can't leave a comment.

one of my biggest pet peeves is someone writing a nothing burger comment because they think i want it, but it's more grating to receive a comment that says "i understand" than have a post with 0 comments on it. i just think that people should only leave comments that are longer than 3 sentences, because it shows you put thought into it. being kind and understanding is the most important thing on sasu, as well as not giving away your personal info(!!). always acknowledge that people will leave the site. getting too close to people nearing their ctb date is very taxing, and it can be easy to get into codependent or toxic relationships. sometimes people leave the site suddenly and that hurts too. it's easy to worry if someone's still alive or not.

lastly, recognize when you're spending too much time on the site: because your mental health is still important even when you're depressed!!

I understand.

 

[underairpressure]

This thread is really helpful for me, I'm also new and anxious about saying/doing something wrong.

advice that has nothing to do with sasu:
watch neon genesis evangelion and serial experiments: lain. the people on the website ended up making me want to watch it and then they both became my personality. fans usually watch them around the same time. i think everyone should take some time to watch lain if they haven't already, and it really aligns with the way most people on sasu feel. as a newbie i saw lots of evangelion and lain themed profiles and that inadvertently led to me watching the shows. i can't recommend lain enough.

I got VERY excited seeing Lain mentioned, lol. Almost made her my icon. That anime (and the PS1 game) are practically encoded into my DNA at this point.

 

[Quantum_Marten0302]

Why are you trying to change yourself to appeal to people and fit in? just say what you feel like saying

 

[oneirataxia]

Lol what "culture"? Just be terminally online and suicidal and you'll fit right in.

 

[diagon24]

I'm also new here - when does the search function tend to become available?

 

[monetpompo]

I got VERY excited seeing Lain mentioned, lol. Almost made her my icon. That anime (and the PS1 game) are practically encoded into my DNA at this point.

genuinely life changing show and i want everyone to watch lain. i'm curious about the ps1 game but i've never touched it. i'll probably watch a video on it now that you've mentioned it

 

[nocatwaslost]

this thread shows that you might comment somewhere and the original poster is not even alive anymore. I am questioning and reflecting if it is a good idea to build friendships or connections in general on here after reading the replies...

I'm also new here - when does the search function tend to become available?

give it some time. write some comments and react to some comments and it will be there soon enough.

 

[gunmetalblue11]

this thread shows that you might comment somewhere and the original poster is not even alive anymore. I am questioning and reflecting if it is a good idea to build friendships or connections in general on here after reading the replies...

I was debating bringing this up. Although in another way maybe Bella would have liked people to find comfort or friends from her interactions. Idk. Maybe up for mods to decide.

Edit: I read your response wrong and didn't understand the original meaning. I agree with what whatcouldhavebeen32 says.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

this thread shows that you might comment somewhere and the original poster is not even alive anymore. I am questioning and reflecting if it is a good idea to build friendships or connections in general on here after reading the replies...

Making a friend or connection is still possible even with little time. I hope the OP is at peace, I've seen their thread about CTB but I didn't comment. It's okay if you don't want to make friends because you don't know who will CTB and who won't, some people are looking for a way out ASAP, some are still debating if it's worth living , some decided that they should give living a second shot, some have crossed that point but are stopped by suicidal intent, some might get the will to fight so that no one will be forced to kill themselves again,etc.

 

[nocatwaslost]

Making a friend or connection is still possible even with little time. I hope the OP is at peace, I've seen their thread about CTB but I didn't comment. It's okay if you don't want to make friends because you don't know who will CTB and who won't, some people are looking for a way out ASAP, some are still debating if it's worth living , some decided that they should give living a second shot, some have crossed that point but are stopped by suicidal intent, some might get the will to fight so that no one will be forced to kill themselves again,etc.

My biggest fear is firstly sudden abandonment and secondly people who are act all nice and empathetic but are in real people who want to scam you. rape you, murder you etc... But well, I guess that goes for every social connection you make online. You never know who is writing with you let alone it is even a real person.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

My biggest fear is firstly sudden abandonment and secondly people who are act all nice and empathetic but are in real people who want to scam you. rape you, murder you etc... But well, I guess that goes for every social connection you make online. You never know who is writing with you let alone it is even a real person.

I also fear abandonment so I don't make friends in general. The objective problem is with the second part you mentioned for sure. IT COULD BE ME IT COULD BE YOU IT COULD EVEN BE-

 

[nocatwaslost]

I was debating bringing this up. Although in another way maybe Bella would have liked people to find comfort or friends from her interactions. Idk. Maybe up for mods to decide.

Edit: I read your response wrong and didn't understand the original meaning. I agree with what whatcouldhavebeen32 says.

I think bella demonstrated by themselves that one of the suggestions which was mentioned here is very important and valid "always acknowledge that people will leave the site. getting too close to people nearing their ctb date is very taxing, and it can be easy to get into codependent or toxic relationships. sometimes people leave the site suddenly and that hurts too. it's easy to worry if someone's still alive or not." by @monetpompo

 

[diagon24]

this thread shows that you might comment somewhere and the original poster is not even alive anymore. I am questioning and reflecting if it is a good idea to build friendships or connections in general on here after reading the replies...



give it some time. write some comments and react to some comments and it will be there soon enough.

Thank you!

 

[underairpressure]

genuinely life changing show and i want everyone to watch lain. i'm curious about the ps1 game but i've never touched it. i'll probably watch a video on it now that you've mentioned it

This is the video that introduced me to the PS1 game! Very good overview, with some additional info about other games of the time that tackled mental health issues. But if you're interested in something more in-depth (that also talks about the anime), THIS is the best Lain video out there imo:



Actually playing (well, "playing", more like listening to lol) it is still one of the most unique and profound media experiences I've ever had. There's a browser port if you ever wanna check it out yourself!