GroundControl
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
- Feb 3, 2024
- 48
Being Borderline is such a shitshow of an experience. Sometimes I feel like my own mind taunts me with the concept of happiness, before ripping it away over the slightest things. I woke so peacefully this morning. I was feeling good, feeling like today might be okay, then a family member said one snide comment and did some of the usual mockery— and now I'm so angry I'm typing this through tears. I want to end it out of spite, sometimes. Just to make others suffer. And that is so, so wrong, and I know those aren't my true feelings. I don't actually want to hurt anyone but I want them to care. I want them to see how much they hurt me.
I want to stop being so stupid over every little thing. I just want to be happy, and to be a good person, and. At least one of those things just isn't feasible. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I just feel things normal people feel? Why am I so fucking stupid? I hate my brain. I hate my stupid sensitive feelings.
I wish I was different.
I want to stop being so stupid over every little thing. I just want to be happy, and to be a good person, and. At least one of those things just isn't feasible. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I just feel things normal people feel? Why am I so fucking stupid? I hate my brain. I hate my stupid sensitive feelings.
I wish I was different.
