Needs advice on buying fentanyl

[swandive]

44 year old fat ugly woman who nobody wants to love or marry. My teenage kids won't see me bc their dad has alienated them against me. I cannot afford lawyers to fight for custody. I was sexually physically emotionally abused by my biological parents. I have tried many many modalities for healing and making a happy life. Everything has failed me. Recently I tried psychiatric meds, that landed me admitted to hospital with a full body chemical rash.
I really want this life to be over.
I work 10 hour days in a factory to barely afford to live in a crappy apartment. I have a boyfriend of 4 years, he barely has sex with me and won't move out of his mom's home.
I can't buy a gun bc of my previously SA.
I'm so sick of everything being so hard, can at least my death go easy?
I think fentanyl would do me good.
I have no street smarts. Can anybody give me tips on how to buy drugs?
How do I ask? The exact wording and how to approach a potential dealer?
Do they actually sell stuff on the corner like in movies? I'm from a very rural area but there are cities within a few hours drive. I'm only 4 hours or so from Kensington Philadelphia. Pittsburg is 2.5 hours from me. I know there are drugs in every town including the one I live, I just don't know who has them or how to ask.
Thank you.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

it wouldn't be ethical for anyone here to give answers to the very specific questions, down to wording etc. as it falls in line with potentially encouraging, not to mention it could put you in harms way, in such a manner that would worsen any situation. just to be clear. no disrespect meant.