Oh yes, I know this sentiment all too well. That longing is heartbreaking, isn't it?
Three whole cities may know you --but there are a lot more than three cities in this world. And quite a bit of space in between the cities where people don't much care what happens in the cities at all. And just to put a rose-colored filter over it, the cities you haven't been to yet are quite likely more interesting and fulfilling places to live anyway. I know I wouldn't go back to live in my birth city on a bet --or the ones to either side of it-- and it's a pretty good city, as cities go.
I dare say you've got some options. You're in a dark, wretched hole right now, make no mistake, but you may yet be able to find a good ladder and climb out. As I said, dying is a poor option for escaping a nightmare. Maybe one of us here could turn on some lights?
I don't want to pry, but would talking about it help? We're hardly a team of high-end psychiatrists, but there's wisdom to be found here among the emotional Walking Wounded. Ignorant idiocy, too, of course --and I include myself in that possibility-- but you might find someone who knows how to turn on the lights.
