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CobaltAssassin

CobaltAssassin

New Member
Mar 15, 2024
1
Blahhhhh I have constant psychomotor agitation but the psychiatrist wants to give me Guanfacine even though I tried something similar called Clonidine a long time ago that made me worse. I don't even have ADHD I'm just "bored" out of my fucking mind. I don't like using that word though because it invites stupid smug idiots to comment on how "boredom is a privilege because it means you don't have anything you have to do!"

im anhedonic as fuck due to the deficit symptoms of schizophrenia but most people don't even believe me because I don't *act like one.* whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean, im on antipsychotics. Sometimes these USELESS simpletons even tell me to go off the meds because of "big pharma"

i can't volunteer or anything because my mom is worried my psychosis will attack me or something and im dependent on her due to also being autistic, not even the level 1 or high functioning kind anymore. And again, people believe im being a whiny selfish bitch because I have good language skills.

Every fucking time I ask for help I regret it because half the time it's some smug jackass telling me "touch grass XD" i can't just "meet people" because they would smell my desperation and incoherent voice and want to get out ASAP. Even other fucking autists don't want to exchange socials.

Even if somehow I got a friend group of people who weren't only there to have a token deficient friend, I can't fucking bond to people because of my emotional dissociation. I actually asked my psych to give me Naltrexone and she said "But you clearly feel emotions!" and changed the topic to diagnose me with "OCD" and give me another fucking SSRI. Thankfully let me off the hook with that one.

I feel somewhat less upset after writing this. Going to go eat now.
 
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