Throughout my years, I encountered a lot of abuse. When I lived in Poland, I have been physically abused ever since I was a kid. I lived with my grandmother there and my two uncles. An uncle called Patrick sexually assaulted me when I was a kid. He continued beating me up and my grandmother used to protect me from him. When we went to the countryside for the holidays, my uncle Patrick made me watch frogs kill, which has traumatised me for my entire life. My biological dad used to watch porn beside me as a kid and do inappropriate things with a woman, all in front of me. There was another uncle called Karol, who was also aggressive and tried to slap me in the face when I was a kid. When I moved to Ireland with my mum, I was living with her and my stepdad, who sexually assaulted me numerous times. My mum blamed it on me and said we were both adults and that if I take legal action nothing will happen because we are both adults (I have a video recording of him admitting to the assault), around the same time frame I got assaulted by 3 minors on a bus, contacted police. They said they weren't able to obtain the footage from the bus company and couldn't do anything, and contacted lawyers, and they were not able to help either. Contacted the bus company, the driver was supposed to file a report and I think he never did. I have a video of the aftermath of the assault, call logs to 911, messages, bus driver's name and info. Lastly, I have been diagnosed with CFS, and my mum used to threaten to kick me out of the house, say I faked it all, although I have a doctor's approval of the diagnosis, which is now in the process of being sent out to a psychiatry team. Years and years of abuse. I'm 22, and I had enough, there is only one way: to get my own justice. Regarding the bus incident, my mum blamed it all on me and said it happened because "I dressed weirdly, was ugly, and that it would have happened eventually," and said if I looked normal I wouldn't have gotten assaulted, and she told me to treat it as a lesson. There was also this guy called Jaden, who sexually groomed me when I was under the age of 18. I truly don't know what I did to deserve this hell. Emotional abuse has been the biggest theme of my life. When I opened up to my mum about being bisexual, she told me that it's just a phase and told me not to tell anyone. I was always a tomboy and as a child I loved playing with what's considered "boys' toys". My stepdad's side of the family used to mock me for dressing the way I did, for my interests, for my way of living, for the way I was, etc. My entire life has been rejection, abandonment, abuse, shame, trauma, etc. This is not everything that has happened. Some things that have happened, I am not able to talk about. them. Is this not enough for wanting to leave this hell?
