Venting my girlfriend lashed out on me

[s1u9l0rd]

me and my girlfriend have had many discussions about hard topics and disagreements, but we had our first argument yesterday and I'm still in shock at how she reacted.

we had discussed a bit over text and I told her to come over so we could discuss it better in person, she's trans and recently started HRT which we were both very excited about, we started talking about gender affirming care and I mentioned wanting breast removal or reduction some point in the future and she said that if I wanted to be masculine she wouldn't be sexually attracted to me, I tried explaining that I don't want to be super masc or fem I just wanna balance them, after going back and forth about this for about an hour I started crying and said "it's not fair cause I support you through your transition but I can't make any changes myself" and she yelled "shut the fuck up oh my god" I started crying even harder after that and scooted away from her.

she then started talking about having thoughts about cheating on me, I told her it's okay if they're just intrusive, but she said they weren't, then said she wanted to break up, I asked her if that was her final decision and she said it is, so I told her to go home, I told her to go home 4 times in between each of her 10-15 min sobbing sessions and she said "I like being here why are you telling me to leave?" and I said "you just fucking dumped me why would I be happy with you here?"

after about an hour we ended up working things out but she was pissy the whole rest of her stay at my house.

earlier we were looking for her cart and I said "it's okay it's somewhere in here" and she yelled "well yea obviously I know that" and I was really freaked out by that.

I feel really disrespected by her and I'm worried that it's her honeymoon phase wearing off and she's showing how she really is. she's talked about cheating and lashing out on partners in the past, but she said that she's better now and she knows her mistakes, i feel bad cause I know everyone has bad days but I've never had a partner treat me like this and I'm just not sure if this is something I should tolerate or not.

 

[Nothing Left]

Seriously, you need to break up with this person and avoid them.

She obviously has personal issues she needs to work out before being in a relationship with someone.

If you stay with her, you'll inevitably be their punching bag, verbally, emotionally, and eventually physically.

The slippery slope is already visible from her dismissing your personal desires and feelings and openly talking about cheating on you.

 

[c0rps3_l1k3]

me and my girlfriend have had many discussions about hard topics and disagreements, but we had our first argument yesterday and I'm still in shock at how she reacted.

we had discussed a bit over text and I told her to come over so we could discuss it better in person, she's trans and recently started HRT which we were both very excited about, we started talking about gender affirming care and I mentioned wanting breast removal or reduction some point in the future and she said that if I wanted to be masculine she wouldn't be sexually attracted to me, I tried explaining that I don't want to be super masc or fem I just wanna balance them, after going back and forth about this for about an hour I started crying and said "it's not fair cause I support you through your transition but I can't make any changes myself" and she yelled "shut the fuck up oh my god" I started crying even harder after that and scooted away from her.

she then started talking about having thoughts about cheating on me, I told her it's okay if they're just intrusive, but she said they weren't, then said she wanted to break up, I asked her if that was her final decision and she said it is, so I told her to go home, I told her to go home 4 times in between each of her 10-15 min sobbing sessions and she said "I like being here why are you telling me to leave?" and I said "you just fucking dumped me why would I be happy with you here?"

after about an hour we ended up working things out but she was pissy the whole rest of her stay at my house.

earlier we were looking for her cart and I said "it's okay it's somewhere in here" and she yelled "well yea obviously I know that" and I was really freaked out by that.

I feel really disrespected by her and I'm worried that it's her honeymoon phase wearing off and she's showing how she really is. she's talked about cheating and lashing out on partners in the past, but she said that she's better now and she knows her mistakes, i feel bad cause I know everyone has bad days but I've never had a partner treat me like this and I'm just not sure if this is something I should tolerate or not.

my gf (also mtf) is exactly like this and when i told her that i (ftm) was considering bottom surgery she had a very similar reaction. she has now cheated on me 3 times and has been horribly abusive to me, my advice is to get out while you still can. ive been where you are and i know you really like her and maybe even love her by now, but youll only end up getting hurt. she has abusive tendencies, if shes not already outright abusing you. atp its too late for me to leave my gf and i just have to cope with abuse. i highly recommend getting out before you get too attached to leave. care for yourself please. i really feel for you

 

[Crematoryy]

My girlfriend also attacked me (but she only exists in my dreams).

I know your relationship is in serious trouble, and how damaging it can be. But from an incel's perspective, any company, no matter how toxic is better than prolonged total absence.

 

[kcon1243]

The emotional Rollercoaster and inequality and selfishness is only going to get worse. She will cheat on you. Get out while you can, these dynamics are hard to break the more longterm your enmeshment is.

 

[ke9]

This is really tough. I've been there, at least in the sense of thinking, well, some relationship, even if it's bad, is better than none. But at least based on what you are describing, I'm in agreement with the others here. Moving on from this person sounds like the right call.

 

[deadstillwalking]

this isn't what I imagined when I read that this was your first argument... just like everyone here I too recommend you to ditch that person. It's incredibly selfish how your partner thinks of their desires instead of supporting you when you were so happy for them.

 

[yxmux]

But from an incel's perspective, any company, no matter how toxic is better than prolonged total absence.

no

 

[EvisceratedJester]

OP, you need to leave her. She clearly prioritizes herself and her own well-being over yours and she comes off as emotionally abusive. I understand that breaking up is easier said than done, but staying with her isn't worth it.

I know your relationship is in serious trouble, and how damaging it can be. But from an incel's perspective, any company, no matter how toxic is better than prolonged total absence.

What? No, it isn't.