Venting My best friend hates me

[doener11]

I'm so fed up with everything. I've tried so much to make things better, ask whats wrong, what I can do better, yet all I get in return is "shut up" and "stop messaging me". I'm not even saying this in a narcissistic way, and I know it seems like it, but I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE WRONG. Two weeks ago he blocked me, and then last week I'm unblocked, yesterday he was being so sweet and kind but then that evening he just tells me to shut up.. and hearing that constantly just makes me want to die. But I don't want to die.. that's not what I want. I want to live to see this get better, yet I don't have any solutions to my problems? I can't talk this out with him, and I'm not the type who can just move on. It's not like I have anybody else either, the only other guy I talk to is also his friend, who just tells me to stop being clingy, when I haven't even told him what's happened!! He's fine talking about how bad I am to other people, yet when it comes to discussing it with me...... I don't understand.......... This all just makes me fed up with the world and how cruel people can be.

 

[NihilDoll]

That is definitely... peculiar behavior :/
I don't want to "armchair psychologist" this, so please just take this as some random rambling on my part, but it does sound like Bipolar on his part...
It would be one thing to just shun you away, but the mood swings are indeed needlessly cruel...

I'm so, so sorry you have to put up with this...
But yeah... i... don't have any idea how i would tackle that situation either :/
The fact that he completely shuts down makes talking it out more than difficult...
And your other friend definitely isn't helping either...

I wish i had words to comfort you, maybe have an idea but... i'm drawing a blank myself...
Hopefully someone else will have a brainwave and has the one idea that may untangle this mess.
Stay strong!

 

[voc_89]

wow. I am sorry you are going through this. I don't know your situation nor your realities (example is there some element of unrequited love, jealousy, hate, lashing out (due to their own internal feuds)) but this doesn't sound good. Its all dependent on you. If you want to give your all and try your best to see this relationship through I understand. But, even as a demented, self-hating, SI loving, broken individual, I know this is toxic. Its a male. So u can be direct and sit them down and ask hey... I notice x and x. Which is different to years prior when we were y and y. Whats going on. Be honest with me. Most men will be outfront. Cause we suck at hiding emotions and intentions lol. And we appreciate directness (as thats what we've been taught). Hopefully that gives u answers to whats going on. But for me this reeks. I sucked at it at first. But i perfected cutting toxic relationships out of my life. And while it hasn't healed me (lol I am on this site on a Tuesday night). It gave me better peace of mind. Again. I don't know you. Your realities. Your situation. Your experiences. I am just giving my opinion based on my own experiences of friends who suddenly turn (briefly.... I was the outcast... maybe that was why I was welcomed by my best friend then... then, I eventually gained higher education and salary and job potential... now they move different.... bad talking me, flaming me, angry at me for like not going in the same direction as them (i guess... idk)... f'em if thats their mentalitiy for you doing differently or being better... idk... just my experience).

 

[doener11]

That is definitely... peculiar behavior :/
I don't want to "armchair psychologist" this, so please just take this as some random rambling on my part, but it does sound like Bipolar on his part...
It would be one thing to just shun you away, but the mood swings are indeed needlessly cruel...

I'm so, so sorry you have to put up with this...
But yeah... i... don't have any idea how i would tackle that situation either :/
The fact that he completely shuts down makes talking it out more than difficult...
And your other friend definitely isn't helping either...

I wish i had words to comfort you, maybe have an idea but... i'm drawing a blank myself...
Hopefully someone else will have a brainwave and has the one idea that may untangle this mess.
Stay strong!

Hmm.. I doubt it's bipolar or smth related to it :/ but tysm for the kind words!! Very appreciated <3

wow. I am sorry you are going through this. I don't know your situation nor your realities (example is there some element of unrequited love, jealousy, hate, lashing out (due to their own internal feuds)) but this doesn't sound good. Its all dependent on you. If you want to give your all and try your best to see this relationship through I understand. But, even as a demented, self-hating, SI loving, broken individual, I know this is toxic. Its a male. So u can be direct and sit them down and ask hey... I notice x and x. Which is different to years prior when we were y and y. Whats going on. Be honest with me. Most men will be outfront. Cause we suck at hiding emotions and intentions lol. And we appreciate directness (as thats what we've been taught). Hopefully that gives u answers to whats going on. But for me this reeks. I sucked at it at first. But i perfected cutting toxic relationships out of my life. And while it hasn't healed me (lol I am on this site on a Tuesday night). It gave me better peace of mind. Again. I don't know you. Your realities. Your situation. Your experiences. I am just giving my opinion based on my own experiences of friends who suddenly turn (briefly.... I was the outcast... maybe that was why I was welcomed by my best friend then... then, I eventually gained higher education and salary and job potential... now they move different.... bad talking me, flaming me, angry at me for like not going in the same direction as them (i guess... idk)... f'em if thats their mentalitiy for you doing differently or being better... idk... just my experience).

Very interesting message! I agree that it might be unrequited love, but then again, these swings in how he treats me are just.. so confusing?? Like two weeks ago we were both drunk and he kissed me.. so I really don't know what is going on . Yeah it is toxic, and I know that, but I can't give up on him. We're both at school together and spend a lot of time together. I've tried being direct with him earlier today (I saw your message yesterday morning, but had no time to reply until now, sorry!), and asked to set bounderies and explain what's going on from both of our perspectives, but he just responded with 'that's enough interaction for today' and since then has only called me the f slur (the gay one, idk if its allowed to say it on this site). Even so, what is your advice for cutting out these relationships? Might not be useful now, but in the future, definitely will be useful! And I am sorry to hear about your friends outcasting you for being.. successful?? Very strange on them, but you definitely have potential and I know you've done nothing wrong! Please give any advice you can about cutting off/fixing relationships like these :)

 

[DivineBreadEnjoyer]

I'm really sorry that you're going through this and Ik its not really the same cause I'm just some random online but ig we could talk if you'd like, I suck at comforting but if you're feeling lonely or anything and have no one to vent to I'm here! Wish you best luck with everything and I hope y'all can talk this out