Yeah... the crowd that tries to support bullying in children likes to say it toughens them up and prepares them for the real world... except bullies grow up to be adults who know they can call police on adult bullies. "Suck it up" when you're a kid and three people gang up on a smaller kid... but for adults you can involve law enforcement.
And adult bullies do not at all like to be bullied. I don't think anyone should be bullied, so I'm consistent... but its damn crazy for anyone to think it's okay to dish it out but they can't take it.
I've long said that people will go out of their way to cross the street to harm a stranger, but will not take a second to help someone they know who is standing right next to them already. In my experience, people are much more likely to harm than to help, even if harming actually requires greater effort. So it isn't about laziness. People will exert more effort to hurt than to heal almost every time unless there is some immediate personal gain for them by helping in that moment.
It started at some point to me to look like kindness and care and concern and helping were the exceptions more than the rule. Fred Rogers used to say something his mother told to him as a child... about how when things are going badly, look around for the helpers. And that is true, when the world goes to shit there are people who still help. It's just... there's always so few of them... and at least a handful of the helpers are doing it for personal gain. The genuine altruistic helpers are very rare indeed.
People suck.
And the thing is... I would never say people owe help to anyone. Nobody has to ever help anyone else ever... but... you know... how about stopping making things worse on purpose? That would be an awesome way to start! Just don't actively make it worse for someone else... no helping required... just don't make it worse.
