Venting most comprehensive vent ever

[urwelcomelb]

im gonna saw my legs off or something okay like. God I just feel so miserable all the time, I've been having suicidal thoughts since I was 12, and I used to be able to talk myself out of it but that just doesn't work anymore. So much trauma has happened and I realized I have to live as an adult for the rest of my life, therapy doesn't help, I love my friends and my boyfriend so much but they can only do so much for me, I feel bad about wanting to die and leave them behind but that guilt isn't nearly enough to stop me. ive tried reaching out for help at every opportunity but it doesnt stop anything.
i just need to find a good, quick and painless method to get this over with honestly. this is so miserable and being alive is so miserable and i want it to stop so badly ive completely given up in everythin. nothing helps the only option is to die yayyyyyy

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, I hate how we cannot just have the option of choosing to sleep eternally. But anyway best wishes.