Discussion Morality of talking someone out of suicide

[scrunch]

Hey, I am as suicidal as most of you, I hate the concept of life and I am respecting everyone's freedom.
Though... Just imagine it's your friend or lover, you want them to live, or any other reason. You want to talk them out of suicide. How would you do that if you are suicidal yourself?
I think my finish line is the point where violence (sending them into a mental hospital against their will) is involved.

Have a nice day!

~ scrunch

 

[badtoad12314]

In my eyes, ultimately we can try to talk someone out try to listen and just be there for a person. whether or not they decide to listen is up to them. Ive been put in a couple situations of very very distressed people and eventhough i absolutely utterly hate myself and constantly consider suicide I still try to be there for people I mean I can conceptually understand where they are coming from. It helps to have someone who understands that the world isnt easy that things wont magically get better and someone who has experienced similar feelings. Perhaps thats why alot of the people here feel so close because its people who actually seem to somewhat get it.

 

[Rihan]

What I think is: If someone has come to a rational conclusion as to why they want to commit suicide, and that they think about suicide during every moment of every day, then it is nearly impossible to talk them out of suicide. Those who are very serious about it are very hard to stop.

Therefore, it's important to find the root cause. If it's something that is realistically solvable, I would support this person to the best of my abilities. If it's not solvable, and they have rationally concluded that suicide is the best option for them, then I have little to no power in what they do at this point. I would still remain by their side and offer my support in case they need me, but ultimately it is their choice.

It would be hypocritical of me to convince someone to keep living or say all the classic pro-life stuff despite the fact that I desperately want to die myself and do not personally believe what I'm saying. Forcing them to stay alive for as long as possible just so that I could remain at peace for a little longer would be very selfish of me. I would always be there for them, though.

 

[YISDISBAD]

Hey, I am as suicidal as most of you, I hate the concept of life and I am respecting everyone's freedom.
Though... Just imagine it's your friend or lover, you want them to live, or any other reason. You want to talk them out of suicide. How would you do that if you are suicidal yourself?
I think my finish line is the point where violence (sending them into a mental hospital against their will) is involved.

Have a nice day!

~ scrunch

It's so shit.
I myself have spoken someone from spiralling and potentially reaching a point of suicide. I comforted two friends (Mh best friends basically) not to spiral into that.
I myself
For over a year consecutively
Everyday
Have imagined taking my life in various way. Or even car accidents, robbery gone wrong or work accident (when I was working since I'm in blue collar).
And before then it was basically a few times a week for years and years since I was about 12. I had actually become super excited for the time when I turned 18 because I could now register to purchase my own firearm.
I'm 20 in 2 weeks time.
I still haven't done it.
I'm Christian and Thats the only thing holding me back even tho I'm basically on edge 24/7.
Not even for my family. For my siblings they'd lose another brother (which was when I started spiralling) my parents another son. My friends. My two best friends would lose their best friend.
And I don't have anything holding me back.

Sorry for all the yapping.
I've never really had the opportunity to give these things out since I never got therapy or had a safe space to speak about it. But yea.
Also tk fully understand where I'm coming from.

In this situation. I never feel that same sense of I'm suicidal
I know how shit it feels
I've never coerced anyone out of the act specially. I only offer my ears and hugs. That's it.
a lot of people dont really have it in them to do it. So rather just listen. Dont apologise. Don't tell them what to do. Don't tell them how to fix their life. Etc
Just listen.
And always check in behind closer doors. Never with others around them.

If anyone can or wants to speak to me. Please PM me. I really don't mind speaking to anyone

 

[doener11]

This is an extremely difficult question which can't really be answered... It is a case-to-case basis.
I remember hearing a quote that went something along the lines of 'it's easy to give love to other people, but when you have to direct that love to yourself, it's near impossible', I think that explains your situation/idea.
You being suicidal yourself shouldn't have an impact on whether this decision is 'moral' or not. Seeing as you want to help this person (whether they exist or not), it shows that maybe you don't actually hate the concept of life, you just hate that you yourself have to experience the negatives that come from it, but wish others to not only experience it but thrive in it. In short, the concept of life isn't the thing you hate - you just hate how it has manifested itself in your life. It's human instinct to feel this way
Being suicidal yourself, you can understand their position better than someone who doesn't, you can relate to them better, run through their feelings and understand fully their reasons behind it. You are in the perfect position to do that and help them, moreso than others.

 

[scrunch]

Hey guys,
really thank you for your advice. Yesterday I was totally overwhelmed with this situation, constantly checking my messages… I asked some friends (non‑suicidal) and they felt even more overwhelmed than me… I think I can keep them going by just talking a little, but she's not a fan of therapy even though she really needs it. I've even had the thought of grabbing her IP.

Lastly, thanks for the relative positive vibes - the bad press about this forum seems to be mostly wrong.

 

[SASU-KE]

I've had close friends catch the bus and I've told them beforehand that they needed to be absolutely sure. We discussed it many times before they decided to punch their ticket.

I have never told them not to do it or tried to guilt trip anyone.I just told them to think about it as much as possible before committing.

It's all up to the individual.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I agree with other people- it depends on how forcefully we might do this. I don't think there's any harm necessarily in trying to work out whether the person has considered all their options. Maybe even to question whether their judgement is being clouded by depression- say.

Ultimately though- I think we need to respect what we're asking of them- if we are hoping they will choose recovery. It isn't just whether it's possible. It's whether they have the strength and motivation to move towards life. So- trying to work out what they still value in life- I think is important.

I'd see it more as trying to explore their true feelings. Rather than flatly insisting they must live. Guilt trips are pretty horrible too. That the person is needed. I think it's reasonable to say we would really miss them but then ultimately- if we claim to love and care about them- how can we want them to stay here and suffer?

It's an interesting idea though- the morality of it. Because- ultimately- it could in fact lead to that person staying and experiencing more pain/ suffering. They may delay trying to source a more peaceful method and then find it has become harder to source. So- there could in fact be real consequences I suppose.

There again- it's also got to be asked: Can someone who has made a well thought out decision to consider suicide- be talked out of it in the first place? I have doubts around that. I doubt anyone could convince me it was a bad choice for me now.

Truthfully- their attempt to do so forcefully would irritate me and I'd simply try to avoid them. Because it's clear they aren't taking my feelings seriously and not respecting my right to choose for myself. I wouldn't insist what they do with their life. They ought to show me the same courtesy.

I suppose again though- there's that difference between showing concern and making suggestions and trying to impose what we think is best on another.

That said though- I suspect different people would react differently to the situation. Some people- who want to be saved- may actually welcome a strong armed intervention- in the long run. It likely varies- person to person. Again though- that could likely be established in a conversation with them. How open are they to receiving help and advice?