Minimal requirements for having friends/partner?

[NonEssential]

Silly post, but something I've been wondering about. I haven't had a friend in years and not a single partner in my entire life. What's the minimal requirements as a person to have either? I don't really have any hobbies, I'm poor and I'm not very interesting. I wonder if I'm just destined to die alone. I guess I'm fine with it, if that really is the case. Idk if I made this post just to vent or because I'm bored. Probably both lol.

 

[wakefulwanter]

I think this is a really good however difficult question to answer... What do YOU want out of friendships? Out of romantic relationships? I think the point is to find a person or people who align closely with what you want out of a connection like that.

 

[NonEssential]

I think this is a really good however difficult question to answer... What do YOU want out of friendships? Out of romantic relationships? I think the point is to find a person or people who align closely with what you want out of a connection like that.

Idk I just feel like having them are like basic things for the average person to have, but I have no clue how to even begin trying to get either.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's completely individual. We all have priorities we may not even be aware of. I think hopefully, it feels more natural than this though. Like- when you speak to people you've never met. Even when you read posts here, there are probably people you feel more of a connection/ understanding with than others. There will even be people we meet in life where neither has anything against the other but you just kind of know you won't be friends.

That said, I think it's actually quite rare we find people we absolutely click with. It's almost exciting when it happens. It's only really happened to me two or three times maybe. For me, it's probably been that we had very similar worries in life, so we were able to empathise with each other and support each other.

 

[mikgazer6]

Minimal requirements? To the right person sometimes just a pulse is fine and even that's optional. But typically you get what you put in.

 

[Rabscuttle]

In terms of meeting people, I think a little kindness towards yourself can go just as far as wealth or interesting hobbies or perfect looks. I think this society has convinced us that we need something perceivable to be of worth to someone else. When you care about yourself, it makes it much easier to find and maintain relationships.

and then once you have the self compassion, that will more easily lend itself to you getting into interesting hobbies, maybe a better job, better physique. Rather than the reverse of accomplishing these more superficial things and trying to treat yourself better as a result of these accomplishments. Because things like looks and money don't always necessarily stick around.

 

[NonEssential]

Anyways I started visiting a psychiatrist and I'll see if I can figure stuff out. If not, I'll just die and maybe if possible, reincarnate into an actual person.

 

[sinfonia]

Idk I just feel like having them are like basic things for the average person to have, but I have no clue how to even begin trying to get either.

I don't understand it either. I feel like this desire to have a friend/partner has been arbitrarily forced on me by society. I was much happier when I just didn't give a shit.

Maybe there is someone out there who I could love and who would love me back, but the chances of finding them are so low that it doesn't seem like a goal worth pursuing. Only brings pain and sorrow.

 

[NonEssential]

I don't understand it either. I feel like this desire to have a friend/partner has been arbitrarily forced on me by society. I was much happier when I just didn't give a shit.

Maybe there is someone out there who I could love and who would love me back, but the chances of finding them are so low that it doesn't seem like a goal worth pursuing. Only brings pain and sorrow.

I've managed to cope with loneliness for a long time, but sometimes it just hurts.

 

[SadFoxDreamer83]

Silly post, but something I've been wondering about. I haven't had a friend in years and not a single partner in my entire life. What's the minimal requirements as a person to have either? I don't really have any hobbies, I'm poor and I'm not very interesting. I wonder if I'm just destined to die alone. I guess I'm fine with it, if that really is the case. Idk if I made this post just to vent or because I'm bored. Probably both lol.

You seem like a very nice and amazing person to me, and you like video games and I like that too, so don't think it's your fault that you don't have friends. In my experience, I've been able to see that those who were great friends for many years, were only so while I was successful, when I worked as a hotel receptionist, had a nice car, invited them to dinner in expensive restaurants, etc. The moment I lost everything and began to feel that another new depression was starting in my soul... they simply ignored me for months and blocked me. The first few months I suffered a lot because my friendship was from the heart and I would never have abandoned them if they fell into disgrace, but with time you learn to be alone and you realize that it is definitely better to be alone than with fake people. Never feel guilty for not having friends, it's simply that it's difficult to find good people who want pure friendship, without materialism or that nonsense. You just need to find people who value your way of being, your kindness, your hobbies, etc.

 

[Languish]

As someone who society deems as pretty, the minimal requirements are that I exist. I am objectified daily. I hate being perceived. I hate eyes on me. I want the peace of solitude and isolation. Friends I have often tend to admit feelings of love, which makes me doubt if their friendship was genuine, or if all they ever wanted was to have me. If I could trade with you and be friendless/lonely, I would. I find it impossible to connect to others anyway.

 

[quietism]

I think my minimum bar is pretty low. IRL, someone I can invite over to my apartment and cook food for/with.. Watch movies and read and play games with. Not get harassed or sent death threats. I have plenty of hobbies and a good career but I try not to make things about myself, I just want someone to be compassionate with. Some part of me fundamentally doesn't understand why this is too much to ask.

 

[tiredash]

Minimal requirements? To the right person sometimes just a pulse is fine and even that's optional. But typically you get what you put in.

I can tell you that in my case thats absolutely not true. Im very tired of having to carry conversations and I tend to talk a lot. But alas it just means that nobody really is interested in me.