Might ctb on Monday. If you’ve read my thread about my toxic online relationship beforehand you’d have some background, if not I can link it

[bugfart]

I'm visiting my family and he intentionally ruined it. He has bullied me the worst he has ever bullied me. He's going to send an email to my school and police won't do anything. He's been meaning to sabotage my college career in order to control me. He wants to make me hurt like he hurts, whatever that means.

I've stopped going out or talking to our previous online friends. I've made myself small and avoided everyone but him. The abuse has escalated to telling me to kill my self and calling me every slur and epithet in the book when I just tell him "I'm having a bad day and I need to lay down" when asked what I'm doing. I sent him a picture of me laying down. He said I was cheating and that I wasn't laying down. I was and that was verifiable. His whole goal is to make me feel crazy. I was laying down in bed and crying about a bad day at class.

Today someone I used to talk to in chats decided to troll him and told him that I was cheating on him with him. I've never even direct messaged this guy before except to talk about mild drama other people were having that resulted in us being removed from certain chats like "dude that was weird" and "yeah it is weird". As our only conversation. My bf believed it. He was saying I sent him nudes when I've never done such a thing and I dont even know this guy. My bf called me over and over on the first weekend home in months in front of my family.

I turned my phone off and then checked it again and saw threats to email my college and he threatened to fuck another girl and film it and I woke up to my entire previous online friend group bullying me. I asked the guy to stop telling my bf that I was cheating on him and lying because it's obviously not true and he sent every message I sent about the situation to a chat I'm not in. They were tearing me apart.

I made the wrong group of people mad. He's intentionally ruined my one weekend home with my family and embarrassed me. He's threatened a lot of things today. I can't even name all of it. And he's freaking out that he's losing control over me and that I'm wanting to leave. He's started calling me a foid and screamed at me over call and voice message about how I don't listen or care and how I don't care about his feelings.

All he talks about is his feelings and his feelings are SO important apparently that I have to watch him kill himself, he has to false repory me to my college and the police, has to bully me, I have to listen to the bullying to show I care and respond in the exact perfect way, and it never stops. His feelings are not important. His feelings are only a desire to control me. I've preemptively emailed my college about my stalker but a police case seems hopeless.

Nothing I say will calm him and I've been the victim now of a misogynistic hate campaign. My schizophrenic boyfriend has picked up every single incel rhetoric and calls me a foid, a whore, a bitch, and says that I don't deserve anything. He claims he wants to keep me but he says I deserve nothing less than death and to be beat to death.

He only wants to keep me to abuse me. He tells me to cut myself and send it and he says that I deserve nothing and that he will never forgive me or be kind to me or be a partner to me and he doesn't love me. I keep telling him that I'm tired of being relentlessly bullied by him every day all day with no trigger (the events have been getting worse as I talk to him more and avoid everything that makes him even slightly upset). And he tells me that I don't deserve love or kindness and that I only gaslight him and lie (which I don't do).

He won't leave me alone and his orbiters and friends won't. I left all these online spaces months ago because he hated me meddling in his chats and seeing what he was saying or talking to his friends or making friends online. These people have no reason to talk to me or about me.

I also don't have hope for school or my exams or my friends. I guess I wanted to go clubbing before I died. I had to go home this weekend and it was required. I have to put on only a shiny happy face and never express any emotion but happiness or I'll be potentially sent away again. I don't want that to happen. My family doesn't understand and I've told them some about this guy but not all and they've made fun of me for him too.

I want to drink a bunch of alcohol and take a bunch of Xanax/klonopin and NyQuil so I'm inebriated and try low suspension hanging. If that doesn't work then I'm just gonna be shitfaced af and I'll put more thought into actually buying a gun. I can't trust anyone and a bunch of people pretend to be my friend both irl and online for the purposes of bullying me.

 

[U. A.]

the so-called feminist. jesus. do you live with this shit? near him? how easily can he get to you?
does your school have support resources, or maybe there's a women's support center nearby?

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's none of my business but the guy sounds like a ticking time bomb. Do you actually want to stay with him or, is it fear of what he might do if you leave that's keeping you there?

 

[bugfart]

the so-called feminist. jesus. do you live with this shit? near him? how easily can he get to you?
does your school have support resources, or maybe there's a women's support center nearby?

He's about 4 hours away and he was bluffing for the most part on doing anything to me. I'm going to try to leave officially on Monday or Tuesday once I'm away from my family and can actually process it

 

[Silver The Hedgehog]

block buttons are free

 

[looking4partner]

Is there any way that you could stop interacting with this online person?

I know that it can be much easier said than done, but I know that many people would not continue interacting with this person because of how abusive they are. This is actually the type of situation that could give a mentally healthy person PTSD and cause someone to have chronic ideation/CTB thoughts because of experiencing treatment like this when they never had them before. And would also be extremely damaging to someone who already has a severe mental illness.

I have also noticed that sometimes certain people online are more abusive than any experience a person has had in real life and feel more comfortable speaking to people in ways that they never would if that person was face to face with them and use the Internet to unleash anger and possibly project their self-hatred onto other people. (Depression can also cause irritability, hatred and anger at everyone around the depressed person. Especially if they don't know how to stand up for themself in real life and then develop resentment because of it. I want to emphasize that this is in no way meant to defend their behavior. But it is a realization I have had about certain groups on the internet that tend to be okay with spewing extreme hatred at & about others)

There was also an article about how people are more likely to basically speak abusively to each other online. It was more detail than that, but I can't remember the exact wording which I wish I could.

Not trying to criticize you, but the way you describe them talking to you doesn't just sound like "regular" bullying. It legitimately sounds like what is said to people when they are kidnapped, tortured, and other true crime situations. I am not saying any of it is your fault. I am just not sure if you realize the level of abusiveness from him that is happening to you. Which is not uncommon for people who are in the middle of those types of situations. And if this can help you recognize that, maybe it can help encourage you to remove one abusive, degrading person from your life and recognize that you do have the power to do that. (I do wish that the police would have helped you get a restraining order at least because that's what they should have done. And people can also be arrested for making death threats, but I know that police don't take stalking or "cyber" threats seriously unfortunately.) I also understand if you think that your life is in danger from this person, that the situation could be more complicated than we realize.

I know that the government & similar programs are not always as helpful as people act like they are, but if this helps at all, I know there is a phone number you can call to get help/advice about domestic violence situations and maybe they would have some potential ideas about how to safely get away from this person.

I also wanted to encourage you to go clubbing if you are able to leave independently :) I went a couple of times to similar events much later in life than most people usually start to do that. And it went well. Idk if anxiety is a factor, but there are also places that are less crowded & more casual/low-key which would probably be easier & a little more relaxed.

 

[ladidabi]

If you feel threatened or not, if he is in the same country (you said 4 hours away so I'm just assuming). The best you can do with police is getting in contact with your doctor, have them document your situation and stressors. Take this document to the police again along with request of a retraining order. In some countries you can't sue the public sectors for negligence, so you have to go another route. If he is saying he's going to the police, do it before he does, that way there is documentation if police starts questioning. If he is outside the country, you can still request for a restraining order and get it processed. The GP can actually also contact the school for you if they actually want to help your case. You can along with that contact your school (whoever in leadership), tell them someone is trying to sabotage you, and you want to clear things out in case things escalate. Police may not do anything, but keep things documented with a timeline.

Block this idiot, no contact. If you're worried about your school rep: Speak to the person highest in management about this. No need to go full detail, but tell them you have a case. This guy you're talking to is absolutely insane. Don't interact.

Honestly, the police fucking suck. Try to get someone to force the police to act if they are closing on you. Police do not care about individuals if it means extra work for them. They know you can't pressure them on your own. Someone vandalised my car and I have video footage from dashcam, their car parked with visible license plate next to mine, and identity of all the people in the video from SentryCam on my Tesla (full name and publicly available phone number and address and matching photos/videos that are all public) Police says they don't have information to identify them. No matter the case, if it doesnt earn them money, forget trying to solve it alone.

Your GP can also speak on your behalf (you have to formulate it in a way that affects your health to get them to follow you with it). You can also see if you can get a lawyer pro bono if you can't afford paying. They can help clear your name with the school and pressure police.

Police do not care unless the government is losing money from something you did. They will care if they can milk money out of people with fines though.