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Jisatsu

Jisatsu

黒い薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
2,014
I abused benadryl regularly for about a year and a half and now that I've been clean for a year ... the damage has really started to show.

Mixed with my mental health disorders... I get confused incredibly easily and I sometimes forget details about what I've done or specific things about people.
I was given a cognitive test recommended by my psychiatrist a few days ago and my results finally came in today.. and
It's really hard knowing I have a higher change of have alzheimer's earlier in my life now.
Knowing that my suffering really isn't going to end ... if I keep living ...that suicide is the only way out of a future where I forget everything.
 
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Reactions: kuroshimi, CTB Dream, sweetdrowning and 1 other person
R

Realog11

Arcanist
Dec 4, 2025
404
I also had memory loss issues I think it started in high school when I got hit with a stick, got worse after my overdose
 
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Deepdense

Deepdense

Student
Dec 30, 2025
147
I usually forget what I'm saying mid speaking and feel a weird confusion that makes me sick.
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Enlightened
Jul 9, 2025
1,058
I have memory loss too.
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream
W

windowinstaller

Member
Nov 19, 2025
75
I abused benadryl regularly for about a year and a half and now that I've been clean for a year ... the damage has really started to show.

Mixed with my mental health disorders... I get confused incredibly easily and I sometimes forget details about what I've done or specific things about people.
I was given a cognitive test recommended by my psychiatrist a few days ago and my results finally came in today.. and
It's really hard knowing I have a higher change of have alzheimer's earlier in my life now.
Knowing that my suffering really isn't going to end ... if I keep living ...that suicide is the only way out of a future where I forget everything.
same but with antipsychotics and ssri.
brain damage caused by benadryl abuse was manageable and went away completely after 1.5 months of soberity.

antipsychotics and ssri made it that i talk in word salad and stutter and cannot remember a single thing that happened yesterday. my 76 year old grandma has better memory then me.
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream and Unlucky777
Unlucky777

Unlucky777

Specialist
Dec 10, 2025
345
same but with antipsychotics and ssri.
brain damage caused by benadryl abuse was manageable and went away completely after 1.5 months of soberity.

antipsychotics and ssri made it that i talk in word salad and stutter and cannot remember a single thing that happened yesterday. my 76 year old grandma has better memory then me.
Same. Same. Same.

I want to off myself now because I'm a shell of the person I used to be. I was pretty intelligent I think. I was very creative. I used to be fun loving and fun to be around.

Now I'm just a vegetable. I'm recovering little by little but I'm not sure if I want to continue. I'd do anything in this world to be like my old self again before I took all these antipsychotic posion
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream and Hollowman
Jisatsu

Jisatsu

黒い薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
2,014
same but with antipsychotics and ssri.
brain damage caused by benadryl abuse was manageable and went away completely after 1.5 months of soberity.

antipsychotics and ssri made it that i talk in word salad and stutter and cannot remember a single thing that happened yesterday. my 76 year old grandma has better memory then me.
I took 3000mg in one sitting and flatlined... that and I've been prescribed just about everything that I can't od and die on...
 
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Reactions: Unlucky777 and CTB Dream
BillyBob

BillyBob

Experienced
Jun 14, 2018
202
I have been on most anti depressants in some form or another and they ruined my life. Finally stopped taking them which took so long to just recover from that crap then I ended up having an eating disorder and now my memory is so bad from lack of nutrition and that. Something else is I got my ADHD medication taken from me from the doctors because my weight fell too low. So can not focus for crap and memory is so bad there is no point in doing anything at all.
 
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R

RadioGaga

Student
Jul 7, 2025
139
Same. Same. Same.

I want to off myself now because I'm a shell of the person I used to be. I was pretty intelligent I think. I was very creative. I used to be fun loving and fun to be around.

Now I'm just a vegetable. I'm recovering little by little but I'm not sure if I want to continue. I'd do anything in this world to be like my old self again before I took all these antipsychotic posion
Are you still taking them or no??? :(. 😬😬😳😳😳. :(.
 
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Reactions: Unlucky777 and CTB Dream
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
2,233
Same. Same. Same.

I want to off myself now because I'm a shell of the person I used to be. I was pretty intelligent I think. I was very creative. I used to be fun loving and fun to be around.

Now I'm just a vegetable. I'm recovering little by little but I'm not sure if I want to continue. I'd do anything in this world to be like my old self again before I took all these antipsychotic posion
I could've wrote that. It's hell.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream

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