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Defenestrator

Defenestrator

Specialist
Jan 17, 2020
302
Why am I so scared? I'm so tired and don't feel like I can keep coping with life. I've had this SN for ages (yes, it's still good as it's been properly stored). I did recover for a time but, I guess due to autism, I just can't sustain it. It's fully dissolved now.
 
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Kazu Ha

Kazu Ha

Weird, lonely German Guy
Jul 26, 2025
71
I've had my SN for months now and I've been backing out the whole time, even though absolutely nothing is improving for me (and nothing will improve).

Remember:
If you don't feel ready yet, it's okay.
No matter how you decide, I wish you the best. ♥️
 
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B

Baisley

Student
Jan 18, 2025
177
I think when it comes right down to it, death is scary. All the what ifs, I don't die and survive run through our mind. If you can't do it yet that is perfectly alright. I am a bit jealous though as, I would love to have SN. Good luck to you on your endeavors and I hope you find peace.
 
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Defenestrator

Defenestrator

Specialist
Jan 17, 2020
302
I got interrupted and I'm sat in hospital - my friend got concerned and called emergency services and yeah.

I've connected via a VPN, but it looks like I won't be allowed to leave the hospital for a while. They said I need to speak to the mental health team - I've never had this before last time I wasn't so close to succeeding.

All I can say is I don't recommend SN unless you're 100% sure as it can totally kill you in small quantities. At least I know the stuff I bought was good.

Anyone have any advice on how to be discharged back home? I'm so anxious about this and I hate having to be in hospital.
Oh I forgot to mention, I did drink it it's very very fucking salty and gross. I experienced light-headedness and almost passed out repeatedly, I was shaking uncontrollably and they had to give me methylene blue.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
4,218
i guess it was SN from 2020 so 6 years old ?

how many grams did you take?

was it painful?

did they say it would have killed you if no methylene blue?

did they confiscate your sn
 
Defenestrator

Defenestrator

Specialist
Jan 17, 2020
302
i guess it was SN from 2020 so 6 years old ?

how many grams did you take?

was it painful?

did they say it would have killed you if no methylene blue?

did they confiscate your sn
Yes it was from 2020
I dissolved two teaspoons in a small amount of water and I drank three sips - it's fucking hard to keep drinking without vomiting so definitely consider this if anyone attempts it.
It was so much painful as just you feel really dizzy, your heart is absolutely hammering in your head - I started to lose feeling in my extremities and I remember shaking like crazy.

They didn't say what would happen without methylene blue explicitly but that it was enough to do potentially serious damage and why I'm currently connected to an ecg for friggin hours.

The police didn't say anything they just said they looked, I don't see them carrying anything when I check my ring doorbell so I'm hoping no. I have a feeling when I'm deemed physically fit and they start assessing me it will be a million and one questions.
 
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Eclypser

Eclypser

Member
Dec 12, 2025
46
Yes it was from 2020
I dissolved two teaspoons in a small amount of water and I drank three sips - it's fucking hard to keep drinking without vomiting so definitely consider this if anyone attempts it.
It was so much painful as just you feel really dizzy, your heart is absolutely hammering in your head - I started to lose feeling in my extremities and I remember shaking like crazy.

They didn't say what would happen without methylene blue explicitly but that it was enough to do potentially serious damage and why I'm currently connected to an ecg for friggin hours.

The police didn't say anything they just said they looked, I don't see them carrying anything when I check my ring doorbell so I'm hoping no. I have a feeling when I'm deemed physically fit and they start assessing me it will be a million and one questions.
I've described the feeling of a racing heart, which we hear powerfully in our ears, as terrifying on other occasions here on SS. Tachycardia is much worse than "a racing heart like during intense physical activity," as some often underestimate it. It happened to me due to substance abuse. Beta-blockers, in my opinion, cannot be considered "optional." For vomiting, I will follow the advice of using lidocaine oral spray. To avoid rescue, I think a small hotel is needed. I hope you become master of your thoughts and find peace, CTB or not.
 

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