Made a mess trying

[cinnamonsticks]

Long time lurker here, I discovered it a few months ago and been actively trying to ctb, before here I was trying to jump or use a belt but I decided to get a rope after knowing the site. I'm a big guy so I can't find a lot of good anchor points, decided to go with partial in my room but it's complicated, especially with SI.

Last weekend I decided to use alcohol to lower my SI, the thing is I never drink. On Monday I got a bit tipsy but I felt like it wasn't enough. Yesterday I started drinking again, I should've drunk like 500 ml. I ended up making a mess, I got so drunk I couldn't do it because I started feeling really bad and ended up throwing up, not only one time but multiple times in 5 different times throughout the day. I felt absolutely sick and I'm completely alone. I decided to stop trying at least for today, I feel a bit better but my room and bedroom is a mess and now I have to recovery to drink again and also clean everything up, including laundry. This sucks. Any experience with alcohol for lowering SI?

 

[zardoz]

I think that everyone's different and there is no one size fits all.

Some people have a high tolerance to alcohol, which usually comes from regular use. Some people are dependent on alcohol (think drinking for breakfast then all day long afterwards) and suffer serious withdrawal symptoms without it, including nausea and vomiting, and can't function even at a basic level without it. Withdrawal from alcohol dependency at this level is a very serious situation and officially should only be done under medical supervision. For them, it would be a necessity, and they would almost certainly not have a bad reaction to it as you did.

For others, perhaps for occasional users whose tolerance is much lower, it often causes the reaction you had to it. A small amount may have the desired effect, which can be very hard to gauge properly, not least because alcohol impairs judgement and lowers inhibitions (basically you don't know when to stop drinking). Some people have almost no tolerance for alcohol at all and basically can't drink, and are happy not to. Many people drink regularly but still go out every weekend and drink until they end up vomiting in the street. What fun!

Personally, I am dependent on alcohol, which is a battle I have been having for decades now. I will be definitely be using alcohol to calm me if/when I CTB (the time honoured "dutch courage"). Most people get happy and confident on alcohol, it's why we drink. Some people don't though and dislike the effects completely.

Alcohol is a very addictive substance that destroys lives. Trust me on that. Most people can use alcohol recreationally all their lives without problem. Some people it snatches and whisks them off to the bowels of hell. Regular use builds up a tolerance to it. Occasional use or normally the first times for most people are like your experience.

This is just my opinion, but if you are a non-drinker at present then I would strongly suggest against trying to build up a tolerance to alcohol. It is a highly addictive drug. It has the very real potential to ruin your life. Being dependent on alcohol is a truly wretched existence, a life-long battle that many people never overcome. When you realise you have become dependant on alcohol it is too late. It is a very dark place to be and one of the reasons people turn to solutions like we are here for (I speak from experience here). Be thankful you are not dependant on alcohol. I envy you on that! But as I say, You may be able to find the sweet spot that works for you, but please be careful, you are are potentially teetering at the top of a very slippery slope. Just my 2 cents.

I'm sure you know there are alternatives of course, like sedative drugs and so on, which may be more suited to you? Can be harder to get obviously, unless you have a medical reason to get them legitimately, and it's your choice of course.

 

[cinnamonsticks]

I think that everyone's different and there is no one size fits all.

Some people have a high tolerance to alcohol, which usually comes from regular use. Some people are dependent on alcohol (think drinking for breakfast then all day long afterwards) and suffer serious withdrawal symptoms without it, including nausea and vomiting, and can't function even at a basic level without it. Withdrawal from alcohol dependency at this level is a very serious situation and officially should only be done under medical supervision. For them, it would be a necessity, and they would almost certainly not have a bad reaction to it as you did.

For others, perhaps for occasional users whose tolerance is much lower, it often causes the reaction you had to it. A small amount may have the desired effect, which can be very hard to gauge properly, not least because alcohol impairs judgement and lowers inhibitions (basically you don't know when to stop drinking). Some people have almost no tolerance for alcohol at all and basically can't drink, and are happy not to. Many people drink regularly but still go out every weekend and drink until they end up vomiting in the street. What fun!

Personally, I am dependent on alcohol, which is a battle I have been having for decades now. I will be definitely be using alcohol to calm me if/when I CTB (the time honoured "dutch courage"). Most people get happy and confident on alcohol, it's why we drink. Some people don't though and dislike the effects completely.

Alcohol is a very addictive substance that destroys lives. Trust me on that. Most people can use alcohol recreationally all their lives without problem. Some people it snatches and whisks them off to the bowels of hell. Regular use builds up a tolerance to it. Occasional use or normally the first times for most people are like your experience.

This is just my opinion, but if you are a non-drinker at present then I would strongly suggest against trying to build up a tolerance to alcohol. It is a highly addictive drug. It has the very real potential to ruin your life. Being dependent on alcohol is a truly wretched existence, a life-long battle that many people never overcome. When you realise you have become dependant on alcohol it is too late. It is a very dark place to be and one of the reasons people turn to solutions like we are here for (I speak from experience here). Be thankful you are not dependant on alcohol. I envy you on that! But as I say, You may be able to find the sweet spot that works for you, but please be careful, you are are potentially teetering at the top of a very slippery slope. Just my 2 cents.

I'm sure you know there are alternatives of course, like sedative drugs and so on, which may be more suited to you? Can be harder to get obviously, unless you have a medical reason to get them legitimately, and it's your choice of course.

Thanks for the thoughtful answer! I used to have resistence but stopped drinking some years ago, I never became dependant on it but used to have a really strong resistence, which now is laking due to health issues on top of it. I sadly had to take time to recover and got a bad mental reaction when thinking of drinking again. I tried hanging and drinking a bit yesterday and my stomach was already feeling bad and "remembering" the last time I had alcohol. Hanging was not succesful but I wasw pretty much sober. I discovered a way to find my sweet spot for hanging but it's looking up so it's already kinda hard, I just try to pass out and then fall to a better position for hanging. I ended up giving up but was already pretty dizzy from hanging, I'll try to get a bit more alcohol today and try again, hopefully I'll ctb finally!

 

[Nightfoot]

Alcohol is tricky. Just enough and you're a little better than okay, but it can also turn on you.

 

[zardoz]

Thanks for the thoughtful answer! I used to have resistence but stopped drinking some years ago, I never became dependant on it but used to have a really strong resistence, which now is laking due to health issues on top of it. I sadly had to take time to recover and got a bad mental reaction when thinking of drinking again. I tried hanging and drinking a bit yesterday and my stomach was already feeling bad and "remembering" the last time I had alcohol. Hanging was not succesful but I wasw pretty much sober. I discovered a way to find my sweet spot for hanging but it's looking up so it's already kinda hard, I just try to pass out and then fall to a better position for hanging. I ended up giving up but was already pretty dizzy from hanging, I'll try to get a bit more alcohol today and try again, hopefully I'll ctb finally!

I sincerely wish you all the best, whatever you decide is right for you.

Alcohol is tricky. Just enough and you're a little better than okay, but it can also turn on you.

Indeed. It is a true devil in disguise. It's all good until it turns on you.
It can be an unpredictable factor for controlling nerves and confidence, presumably SI for real, etc.
A little too much and it all goes wrong, both mentally and physically. Trouble is it gets hard to gauge when to stop...

 

[knickknack81]

I was once a heavy drinker. Started off casual then became something I was all too dependent on. Luckily, I realized the damage it was doing to my body and two years ago, I decided to quit. I am super lucky that I was able to just walk away from it and never slipped up or had the urge to do it again. I don't miss it. Some can balance it much better than others can, I just realized I can't. About 6 months ago, my life went down the hill. My partner of several years left me and work has been super bad. Things are dire and lead to the path of considering CTB. Yet, even through all these issues, I haven't touched the bottle. It's been difficult living through these times when a drink could temporarily numb the pain but I don't want to go down that road again. I think I just want to know that if im going to CTB, it will be a decision I make with 100 percent clarity and that I am sure that is what I want. Just my two cents. Whatever you decide to do and how you go about doing it, I wish you the best of luck.