Discussion Loose lips sink ships

[onthefence]

Is what I was told with my first hospitalization as a minor when I told someone I had a razor blade in my shoe. I feel like I have heeded this advice for a long time (over 30 years) but now I can't seem to control my loose lips- probably the alcohol. Has anyone had CTB attempts stopped because you couldn't shut up? If only I didn't hate being cold so much I would OD / drink alcohol and wander out into the wilderness.

 

[Manic Panic]

Yeah I have a problem oversharing and it's not because I don't wnat to die its just so people know what I'm going through.

 

[onthefence]

Me too: I just long for some human understanding.

 

[EternalLight]

Yeah I have a problem oversharing and it's not because I don't wnat to die its just so people know what I'm going through.

It's a sad thing. You want people to understand, but most people really don't get what it's like to get to a point in your life where you feel there's no other option but to end things, so it's all too common for people to react negatively or even distance themselves from you as if you're some kind of lunatic.

The last time I shared such thoughts, it was with someone I wasn't really close to, but I felt some comfort with him, and I said a few words. Nothing concrete, but what I said gave the impression that I was going to end my life. It didn't end very well. Concerned for my safety as it goes, he told another, and it was quite an uncomfortable situation. It's always funny to me when they say things after a suicide like "he/she never said anything," because the way things are it often makes things worse to do so. Most people simply refuse to accept that this is the case or ask why people don't open up to others.

 

[_D_]

Yes. Don't talk to people IRL about this stuff, you can talk about it here though. It really won't do you any good talking IRL.

 

[onthefence]

Yes. Don't talk to people IRL about this stuff, you can talk about it here though. It really won't do you any good talking IRL.

That's true. I haven't talked to anyone except my therapist and they don't really know what is going on. It is such a relief to be able to talk on here.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I only ever brought it up to one of my friends. I won't make that mistake again. No matter how much I want to.

 

[_D_]

That's true. I haven't talked to anyone except my therapist and they don't really know what is going on. It is such a relief to be able to talk on here.

Just be careful talking to your therapist. You can get away with it a little bit, but always stress this: 1) You have no PLAN, and 2) you have no INTENT.
Really #1 is an absolute killer, they really don't like to hear that you've thought through exactly how you would commit suicide.
For #2, when you talk about suicide with your therapist, always stress that you don't want to commit suicide, but that the thoughts persist nonetheless.
Following those guidelines you should be able to broadly talk about your suicidal ideation a litttle bit, but remember that for a therapist: you killing yourself means a world of trouble for them. If they think that you are at risk (or, more correctly, that their job is at risk) they'll follow the proper procedure and have you hospitalized to avoid the headache. Just be careful how much you trust them. At the end of the day, everyone looks out for themselves first, and your therapist is going to value keeping their job over anything else.