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Jisatsu

Jisatsu

黒恄薔薇(The Black Rose)
Jan 5, 2025
2,014
Sometimes being alive feels like waiting in a long hallway with no doors... you see people come and go... just time passing ...people telling you to stay positive while your chest feels permanently heavy as you keep walking endlessly. Death starts to feel less like an enemy and more like a concept that understands rest. Not escape. Permanent rest.
You grieve things before they're gone. You mourn versions of yourself that didn't survive growing up. And death becomes this shadow reminder that none of it is permanent. Not the pain. Not the joy. Not you. That nothing ever truly mattered.
You start disappearing before you're gone. Emotion by emotion. Reaction by reaction. You're still breathing, still responding, but something vital has already gone quiet. It's a slow erosion. Not tragic enough for people to worry. Just enough to leave you feeling hollow.

There's no lesson in it. No silver lining. Just time passing while you endure it.... until you can't any longer.

You die and you become nothing, but not in a sad way like most people would think of. You're just… free. No more fighting, no more proving, no more performing. You're the wind, the shadows, the vibration of everything and nothing all at once. You are nothing but also everything...
It's terrifying, because the "you" you knew is gone. And somehow, in that emptiness, there's a pulse. Not yours. Not anyone's. Just life humming, indifferent without you ,forever infinite.
 
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amor.dor

amor.dor

In this Craziness, Uncertainty
Dec 24, 2025
298
life is like that book I used to read a lot, a classic.


"Each season of life is an edition, which corrects the previous one, and which will also be corrected, until the definitive edition, which the editor gives away for free to the worms."
"The Posthumous Memoirs of BrĆ”s Cubas" — Machado de Assis
 
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