burninghill
Student
- Dec 2, 2025
- 199
I hate that people think and that I ever thought that when I got older and got to do 'cool' stuff like go to house parties and to the club and have people be interested in me romantically that I'd somehow be fixed.
It's not true. It's not a thing. I spend every day being bored out of my fucking mind, exhausted and depressed waiting for the next party or the next kiss just for a couple hours of fleeting joy. I always end up back in my room. Self-harming, suicidal, depressed and alone.
It's true that you can't get better without helping yourself and putting that sort of effort in, it just sucks when you don't give enough of a fuck to do so.
I'd rather be depressed 24/7 than have these small moments of excitement. At least then I'd have nothing to look forward to. It's always 'after this thing I'll do it'. Coward. If I actually wanted to die I'd be in pieces right now. None of this shit matters when you're dead so there's no point in sticking it out.
It's not true. It's not a thing. I spend every day being bored out of my fucking mind, exhausted and depressed waiting for the next party or the next kiss just for a couple hours of fleeting joy. I always end up back in my room. Self-harming, suicidal, depressed and alone.
It's true that you can't get better without helping yourself and putting that sort of effort in, it just sucks when you don't give enough of a fuck to do so.
I'd rather be depressed 24/7 than have these small moments of excitement. At least then I'd have nothing to look forward to. It's always 'after this thing I'll do it'. Coward. If I actually wanted to die I'd be in pieces right now. None of this shit matters when you're dead so there's no point in sticking it out.
