Letter. How to make them understand?

[merpmerp]

26F. Everyone says this but I genuinely think my family would be in for a massive shock after I cbt because I'm goofy, always smile and make jokes about the future (all empty conversation from my end). I've never been serious with them. They think the only one capable of talking about serious topics is my older brother and that I'm just the dumb bratty one. I wrote a short letter. I wrote a long one. I don't know which is better or what to say to let them know that I was truly suffering for many years and not just feeling momentarily overwhelmed or sad about life. We never talk about our emotions. We have never even said the word depression in our house. I just don't want them to think I did it for the wrong reasons. That I truly wanted to die for years. But I don't want to offend them either. What do I do with the letter?

 

[Empirespy]

Be honest, after you die there's no need for secrecy. You are free to express yourself to whatever limits you want, let them know what you wanted to tell them. There's nothing to be nervous about airing, because this is you final chance to speak to them, to let them know who you truly were, and nothing can come back to you.

That said, try to be positive. Look on the good, not just the bad. A lot of suicide notes are filled with hate, perhaps justifiably, but positivism can help put things into perspective for you, as well as make it easier for them, as they are the ones that have to go on living. I've written a fair few notes, mostly just to collect my thoughts, with no intention of them being my final note, and they have been therapeutic to me, maybe they can for you. My last letter was different, it was (and still is) intended to be read. I parsed over it again and again, trying to sound better, more impactfull. Then I thought what's the point? Why not just write honestly, speak my truth. After-all, this is my last chance.

 

[merpmerp]

Be honest, after you die there's no need for secrecy. You are free to express yourself to whatever limits you want, let them know what you wanted to tell them. There's nothing to be nervous about airing, because this is you final chance to speak to them, to let them know who you truly were, and nothing can come back to you.

That said, try to be positive. Look on the good, not just the bad. A lot of suicide notes are filled with hate, perhaps justifiably, but positivism can help put things into perspective for you, as well as make it easier for them, as they are the ones that have to go on living. I've written a fair few notes, mostly just to collect my thoughts, with no intention of them being my final note, and they have been therapeutic to me, maybe they can for you. My last letter was different, it was (and still is) intended to be read. I parsed over it again and again, trying to sound better, more impactfull. Then I thought what's the point? Why not just write honestly, speak my truth. After-all, this is my last chance.

Positivity and honesty. That's good thanks for the advice I'll keep that in mind for sure. And I can relate I definitely wrote some cathartic ones a few years ago. I get a better understanding everytime of the crucial things to include. But sometimes I get so fed up with the pressure that I just want to write 'please forgive me I love you' and be done with it.

 

[Steve Vermont]

Try to be brief, too. Keep it to a page or less. Use music or poems if you have to, to express things you can't.

 

[Aap]

I think the answer truly depends on your reasons for ctb as well as who the note is really for, you or them?