Discussion Leaving traces behind. Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I came across a thread on the main forum around the concern of being forgotton after death. I was curious to see how people felt about this. Whether it's important to people that others remembered them.

Also, how they remembered them. Are people here hoping that others will be interested enough to want to find out who they really were? Especially if we felt unable to express this in real life.

We may of course hope to leave the world with physical things- if we create things say. Is any kind of physical legacy important to you? Maybe those who worked in caring professions want to be remembered as a person who made a really positive difference to other's lives. Do you want to be remembered for your work?

My job is creative so, there will be physical stuff left behind but most likely, not for long. I'm not good enough for things to be preserved and remembered. I'll very quickly be replaced by another. That doesn't bother me too much. I have a mixture of envy but also admiration for other creatives.

The more interesting one for me is this forum in a way. To an extent, perhaps we are able to be our authentic selves here. I suspect for a major part, we use it for venting needs.

However, do members also use this place as a deposit space for a part of them? Do they hope others will be interested to still find and read their threads when they are gone?

I'm certainly grateful to have had the space to tell parts of my story and journey in life. I think there's a part of me that still wants acknowledgement of the shit that happened in my childhood that set me on this path. Perhaps a part of me wants people in my life to know. But then also, I realise they can't actually know. Even if I described it in detail. Plus, it wouldn't and maybe shouldn't lead to any form of retribution.

I'm not sure how I feel about it really. Would you want anyone you knew reading through your threads after you passed? I think overall, I probably wouldn't. Maybe it would be hurtful for them.

Any thoughts?

 

[nomoredolor]

I am trying to make more paintings so my loved ones have more to remember me by. All of the art will be displayed at my celebration of life which I've made a playlist for. I want to leave behind a willingness to speak up for and help minorities. And enough notes for my friends and family to know how much I loved and treasured them, even tho I had to die in the end. I would like to do so more writing for people who want to read it but I don't need it published or pushed onto people.

I'm going to make sure my family doesn't have access to what I've written here. I don't want them to know the depth of my suffering and I want to protect the privacy of anyone I've talked to.

Anna

 

[Redacted24]

For me, I don't have anything I've created... just things that hint at the person I was but which wouldn't have any meaning for someone finding them. Nobody would know their context or significance.

They're all part of my narrative but with me gone they're just detritus, so I'm treating them as such now as I'm in the process of disposal.

I would be delighted if anyone in my life cared enough to be interested... but since they're not in the least concerned with me as a living person, I have no illusions that as a missing person they would have either the patience or care to make any effort to interpret anything once I've departed.

So it's all going to be gone before I am.

It's too bad that while people can donate their physical remains for science there doesn't seem to be a way to do that for mental health matters. That may be emblematic of a lack of substantive interest in this, or of resources.

It would be nice if there was a way to let everyone that I've hurt over the years know that the problem was wholly mine and they weren't responsible in any way, but since I'm planning to simply disappear leaving such messages is contrary to my intent of being forgotten, leaving no indicators of being dead. It's doubtful anyone that knows me would find my writings here.

Yeah I know that's awful of me to deny closure to the unlikely person that might actually care, but I think it's better for them to assume I'm just living happily as a hermit somewhere than know what I've done.

 

[tiredash]

I suppose that being remembered might come from having a loving family and maybe friends... However, since I have always been alone, i really dont care... In fact, id like to start a fire where I live so everything I own disappears and cannot be used by anyone else.

 

[Prism]

I would prefer to be forgotten entirely, like I never existed at all. And I most definitely don't want anyone to know I used this forum.

 

[Pluto]

 

[missedmybus]

I write a lot, so there are a lot of notes/notebooks with poems/writings that describe my state of mind. I would throw them all if I knew where they were, but a lot of them are used as bookmarks and stuff. Every now and then when I do a deep clean of my house, I find some and throw them, or if they inspire me, I work out the ideas in there a bit more, only for those to be lost in my house again.

I don't really care if people find them or not when I go. I am waiting out the few people I care deeply about anyway, so it's not like they will find them.

I guess some of the music I made will still be around, since some of it arent just solo efforts, and the people I made it with would still have copies.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I would prefer to be forgotten entirely, like I never existed at all. And I most definitely don't want anyone to know I used this forum.

I feel exactly the same way. I don't even like the idea of being buried and having a grave that people can visit. I want to be cremated and have the ashes scattered into the ocean or tossed into the wind.

 

[Wlfgrl]

No, think it'll just make people feel worse, when I imagine leaving anything behind apart from material things or other people's memories of myself I don't want to leave a note behind. If anything I'd leave something with a sour tone, but it doesnt matter

 

[vitbar]

The idea of people going through my things after makes me uncomfortable. Files, messages, physical stuff, etc. I mean to get rid of a lot before. The stuff posted under accounts publicly associated with me will stay up. None of that is private.

I mean to deliberately leave behind letters to loved ones. I want them to have the best chance at understanding that it was my choice to go. I hope I leave behind an overall positive impact. I try and be a good person, to improve the lives of others.