Venting Last Stand

[Natanael]

I just want to write this to vent and hear other people's thoughts, and to see if anyone has gone through or is going through the same thing

I'm at a critical point in my life, one I was expecting to some extent. I'm someone who has worked since I was a teenager to stay afloat as a freelancer. My main job simply became unsustainable, and half my income has been cut off. I can't afford my expenses and i am completly alone on this, all depends on me, and on top of that, many complex problems have literally piled up at the same time. It feels like I'm being attacked from absolutely every direction

But I have a small chance to switch to another job that has shown me it pays better, but I need to put in a titanic amount of work. I have to learn a lot of things in a very short time; I have to make a huge effort in a really short period but I'm very tired—all for a maybe, even though it's proven it can work if I do it right.

I think I see this moment as my last stand. I'm really angry at life; I feel like all of this is unfair, and I've lost my patience, so I plan to go all out and give it my last 101%, but even so, the idea of ending it all is just as close as when I tried it a while back

Has anyone else been through the same thing? Is anyone else going through the same thing right now?

Ty for reading

 

[BlueMist96]

I wish you luck in your last stand

 

[caramelpudding]

I didn't been through the same thing but I very agree that life is really unfair. I'm going through something right now and I don't have enough courage to give any afford anymore. I really admire how you are pushing through this. I hope the best for you!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've tried to start my life over maybe 4-5 separate times. Including house moves many miles across the country, returning to education, attempting to start entirely different careers. All of which required lots of effort and courage against things that terrified me.

I suppose the difference back then was that I had marginally more hope. More drive, more of a work ethic. Plus- obviously, I was younger. I don't think I have it in me to do all that again. And, definitely not- considering where I ended up each time.

The risk vs. reward doesn't look so appealing now. I'm also in such a bad frame of mind that- it could very well even dominate over a better experience. All I tend to worry about and focus on now are the negatives. What actually appeals to me more is to simply try to tread water. That said- if the choice was to put in more effort or lose everything- I'd try to put in the effort.

With all that pessimism expressed though- I'm still glad I tried those times. I simply wouldn't have known they wouldn't work out if I hadn't at least tried. So- I hope you do try this new chapter and I hope it sufficently rewards you. Good luck.

 

[Natanael]

I didn't been through the same thing but I very agree that life is really unfair. I'm going through something right now and I don't have enough courage to give any afford anymore. I really admire how you are pushing through this. I hope the best for you!

I've tried to start my life over maybe 4-5 separate times. Including house moves many miles across the country, returning to education, attempting to start entirely different careers. All of which required lots of effort and courage against things that terrified me.

I suppose the difference back then was that I had marginally more hope. More drive, more of a work ethic. Plus- obviously, I was younger. I don't think I have it in me to do all that again. And, definitely not- considering where I ended up each time.

The risk vs. reward doesn't look so appealing now. I'm also in such a bad frame of mind that- it could very well even dominate over a better experience. All I tend to worry about and focus on now are the negatives. What actually appeals to me more is to simply try to tread water. That said- if the choice was to put in more effort or lose everything- I'd try to put in the effort.

With all that pessimism expressed though- I'm still glad I tried those times. I simply wouldn't have known they wouldn't work out if I hadn't at least tried. So- I hope you do try this new chapter and I hope it sufficently rewards you. Good luck.

Thank you so much. That's true—it really hit home that if I don't try, I'll never know if it'll actually work. It's something I think I'll remember when I get discouraged. I hadn't thought of it that way before. Thank you

Your situation makes me feel a bit helpless. I wish there was something I could do. I just hope things take a turn for the better. I hope you get a stroke of good luck