Story Just a dream

[Yknot]

A few days ago I dreamt of my son for the first time since he ctb'd. He was lying on the lower bunk, staring at his phone. I knew he was dead, but he spoke. It felt normal. "You can't keep me here like a labrador," he said with a sad smile. No idea why he said 'labrador', but I understood. Then I woke up and cried.

 

[wine is fine but]

this is so sad, i am so very sorry for you

from reading a small number of his posts, he loved you and his mum

 

[Macedonian1987]

A few days ago I dreamt of my son for the first time since he ctb'd. He was lying on the lower bunk, staring at his phone. I knew he was dead, but he spoke. It felt normal. "You can't keep me here like a labrador," he said with a sad smile. No idea why he said 'labrador', but I understood. Then I woke up and cried.

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and poignant experience with us.

That first dream after losing someone you love so intensely is often completely overwhelming. It makes perfect sense that you woke up in tears, it is a profound collision of the comfort of finally seeing them again and the crushing reality of waking up without them.
The comment he made about the Labrador is actually quite profound, even in its sadness. Labradors are the ultimate symbol of unconditional loyalty always staying right by our side, waiting by the door, tethered to their people. It sounds like a very gentle, and perhaps characteristically quirky, way for him to tell you that he loves you, but that he can't stay anchored to this realm or in that specific way anymore. It feels like a quiet permission for both of you to eventually find a different kind of peace.

The fact that the dream felt so normal and that you understood exactly what he meant, despite the unusual words, speaks volumes about the deep connection you two will always share. Dreams like this can be a deeply painful gift, but they are a gift nonetheless.

 

[Matchaaa]

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your son. It's completely understandable that your dreams following the loss of a loved one are so painful. The fact that he did so much for you before he passed away, and wanted you to see the things he had organized—shows that your relationship was filled with love, security, and trust. From what you've shared, it's clear that he loved you and your family deeply. Hearing about those things made me feel very sad as well, so I can only imagine how deep your grief must be. Sending love and strength.