I struggle a lot with medication due to some failed attempts when i was younger and the fact im schizophrenic. But ive never actually tried talk therapy, I have been in therapy but when i was there i often would just, not talk to the therapist as i didnt want to go when i was younger. But maybe now that im older, i could actually try. Is there anything i should expect? I struggle with expressing my emotions vocally, would that be an issue at talk therapy? Would writting it down for the therapist be a better option?
Many people have problems with expressing emotions, it's actually quite common. While therapists often ask "how are you feeling", the answer might as well be "I don't know". That's fine. You kinda come there to learn talking about it... or not, some people never do, but they can still benefit from going to therapy (speaking from personal experience).
Writing things down can help, I think, if you cannot say anything. I think it's important to just be open with your therapist, and tell them that you struggle with it, a good or even decent professional should know how to handle this. There is no "good" or "bad" way to do therapy, really, but just trying to be as honest and open as possible makes things easier.
I was also sent to therapists/psychologists when I was younger but it always ended up at just sitting in silence, therapy only helped me when I was an adult and decided to go there myself. I think your willingness to cooperate matters A LOT, so I think it will play out differently for you this time.
I recommend reading about different therapy approaches and choosing someone who works in one that you think will work best for you. They're quite well described in this post:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/different-therapy-methods-alternatives-explained.139570/
There are other kinds though, the availability really depends on the place where you live. How therapy will look like often depends on a specific approach. Like some of them will be more focused on dealing with thought patterns that harm you, other on dealing with negative emotions, or on working through negative past experiences.. it depends, really, but I think reading about it can help you know what to expect.
It's also helpful to look for a therapist who specializes in issues you have, so for example it will be probably good for you to find someone who works with schizophrenic patients, as they should simply have more experience in what you need and understand more. Also note that sometimes it takes seeing a few people before you find a therapist that's well fit for you, like you feel at least somehow comfortable talking to them. At the same time, for many people it takes a few (or more) sessions to trust someone enough to show any vulnerability when talking to them. So, just know it will take time to see any effects (how much - it really depends, but often you can judge *anything* after at least a few sessions), but if you feel like the therapist you're seeing is not your vibe really (or is simply incompetent in issues you have) then don't hestitate to switch to someone else. I know it might all sound overwhelming, but really seeing anyone who is a decent professional can help in some way. So if you don't feel like researching all of this - you don't need to, it can just help you spare some time of trial end error I guess. Good luck once again!!
