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paredler

paredler

Student
Jul 31, 2022
191
The every day obligations and the micro aggressions I suffered from at school and work every day for many years were enough to make me philosophically suicidal. I've been suicidal pretty soon after I entered the work force and found out that the stress I had at school is contuing to my adult life and is going to continue till death. I've lived too many days in fear and sadness it caused me permanent dysphoria. I've been suicidal for over a decade now and it's hard to live in a world where you either struggle to survive or you just stuff yourself with meaningless pleasures that do nothing but numbing the pain. When I was a kid, I believed there was more to life than suffering and stress. I believed in godly magic, in growth and development, in learning and changing, I don't see room for any of these things now. When you struggle to survive, you're too busy on functioning at the basic level, so you can't grow, but when you are privileged, you become decadent and lazy. It's nearly impossible to manipulate stress in a way that would encourage our growth.
 
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ArteriesBindEveryon

ArteriesBindEveryon

Student
Feb 9, 2023
113
I feel this too. I'm always afraid of my parents and never want them to know what I'm up to for fear of them being disappointed in me, even though they're usually fairly reasonable.
 
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