it’s something

[unexplainedExplorer]

fuck it. tomorrow i am going to go outside and head to a nice roller skating rink. i'm going to enjoy the little life i have in me for a while. i think i deserve that.

 

[The Actual Devil]

How did it go, buddy?

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

How did it go, buddy?

postponed to today because i overslept </3

 

[The Actual Devil]

It's all good. Let us know, yeah?

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

It's all good. Let us know, yeah?

thank you, i will :')

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

Hope it went like u planned i also said fuck it and made some solo plans for vacations this year that im actually looking forward. Much love hope it went perfectly

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

needed to postpone again. i had a really bad panic attack that left me sick and tired so i just. laid there and missed my chance. i never recover too well from those. i can't catch a break sometimes, haha.

it's okay, i'll be okay. i know i deserve to enjoy myself. i WILL go to this damn rink

 

[Doll Steak]

needed to postpone again. i had a really bad panic attack that left me sick and tired so i just. laid there and missed my chance. i never recover too well from those. i can't catch a break sometimes, haha.

it's okay, i'll be okay. i know i deserve to enjoy myself. i WILL go to this damn rink

Take you're time, there's always another day, and when it comes, fuckin savor that moment.

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

Take you're time, there's always another day, and when it comes, fuckin savor that moment.

i really needed that, thank you so much.

 

[Cloud Busting]

If you end up going, I hope you enjoy.

I remember before my attempt, I saw family at their summer house. There I was, being reckless with my step bro and his friend and hoping the fact we were all drinking beer, veneering rapidly down a hill while speeding and eschewing wearing seatbelts would kill me. I felt I deserved to die in that moment, as the beautiful scenery and the delicious food and the moments with family rang hollow. Nothing at all could give me joy, and I felt ungrateful, which resulted in excessive guilt.

My anhedonia has diminished, and I cannot tell you why. I do know that I wish I could tell my former self back then that it's ok to just… not want to do anything, to not feel much of anything, to not appreciate things, as that's just where I was at, and it won't be permanent, as all things in life are fleeting.

I do hope you go! If not, or it ends up not providing pleasure, go easy on yourself, and meet yourself where you're at rather than should yourself with expectations