It’s finally time - FSH / PSH setup

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

Just wanted to share pictures for context in the hopes of helping other brainstorm anchor points. <3

AirBnB details:

I found a lovely place with nice amenities (steam shower, bidet, W/D, gym, sauna, etc) to have a pleasurable last couple hours.​

Final Hours:

• Had some "me time"
• Ordered sushi and junk food from DoorDash
• It's 2AM and I'm going to keep vibing on caffeine until I'm ready. Checkout is tomorrow at 11AM, sunrise is ~7:20AM.

Setup:

• Sorry for the dark photos, obviously didn't want to use the listing photos due to reverse image search.
• Anyways, I'm more than confident this wooden structure in the backyard will support my weight (245lbs / ~111 kgs) as there's several chairs and table already suspended / hanging by metal loops.
• I setup both a full and partial, likely will need slight adjustments once I get into position.
• I apologize if it's not super clear, but both have an bowline knot to secure them to the wood, and then obviously a noose knot. Both have an extra double "standard" stopper knot, too.
• Biggest risk - unfortunately this is outside. However, I've been this area scoping for hours and there aren't any cameras, neighbors have lights on and blinds closed, I won't be seen from over the fence from the road, etc.

PLEASE LMK if you see any errors! Shout out to this thread! Super helpful in breaking down the various steps -

Evelyn's complete guide on how to hang yourself with both partial and full suspension hanging

Are you new to hanging? Or maybe just trying to find out if hanging is the right method for you? This reading guide has you covered! This is your one stop shop to both partial suspension hanging and full suspension hanging. This is a reading guide to the guides I published on this forum so far...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace. Good luck!

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[Gangrel]

Wishing you good and well

 

[dalemar]

I hope you find your peace! Wishing you all the best!!!!!

 

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

I'm useless and such a waste of space. Wasn't vale to go through with it even though I actively want to leave Fuck me, why is this so hard?

 

[Terrible_Life]

I'm useless and such a waste of space. Wasn't vale to go through with it even though I actively want to leave Fuck me, why is this so hard?

Unfortunately committing suicide is very difficult.
You were brave you already build the set up etc others don't even come so close that they buy the rope or they're like I am having the damn rope here since dec 2024 and still alive and 0 attempts.
I hope you didn't hurt yourself

 

[ifihadnever]

I'm useless and such a waste of space. Wasn't vale to go through with it even though I actively want to leave Fuck me, why is this so hard?

I had a similar situation last month when I was pretty sure I was going to end it all. It's what I wanted and in my situation for the best. but on the day I just couldn't bloody do it. Still hurts like hell. You aren't useless or a waste of space at all. I never understand the courage it took to go through with ending my life. Ironically, I think I couldn't do it as im such a mess and mentally not in the right place, I almost think id have to feel a bit 'mentally better' too. I haven't given up, but clueless of what to do right now. but I feel your pain and frustration.

 

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

Thank you everyone for the supportive words - I especially liked "brave". God, I was so close! Just had to step off the ledge and it would be done in moments. I'm running of time, money, will to live, everything. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

 

[glided~hydrangea]

Dude, believe me, I know how hard it is. And I know it's definitely easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up too much over it. You were desperate and doing what you could at that moment. And despite what the media says, suicide is NOT the "easy way out" by any means. It's actually extremely hard, especially when SI kicks in (whether it's before the actual attempt or during the process of ctb when your body is struggling). You're not a failure, just take some time for yourself. You can always come back/readjust your plan and mindset until you're really ready to go. I hope you're able to find some peace, brother.

 

[maketner]

I just want to wish you well and share solidarity, considering hanging and jumping. Terrified. And I too feel desperate with lack of money time and opportunity. Wishing you peace.