Chuunibyou
ghost possessing this body
- Jun 11, 2025
- 16
it's no secret that there's been a growing wave of reactionary sentiment and censorship in response to sexuality, but itch.io removing their adult content is really hammering it in how bad it's gotten, and how hopeless it feels that we'll gain our freedoms of expression back any time soon. I make a lot of kinky art, which is being affected by the itch.io situation, and I'm liable to lose hundreds of dollars if my most recent payout doesn't go through (something that's happening to other affected creators).
but more than that, being kinky and queer is central to my identity. the queer part of my identity is also already under legal attack obviously, and now I'm hyperaware of how the rest of my identity is under attack too. I just want to be myself. there's nothing dirty or wrong with me because of this. but it feels like everyone in the world is trying to make me feel like there is, like I'm shameful or a monster. everything from petty online bullies and "antis" all the way up to the legal system is all against the existence of me, my partners, and my friends.
I've seen how these avenues of expression have really helped me and my partners heal and better ourselves. it's one of the only ways I can reliably push back against my OCD. when I'm in a safe community space for people like me, I really feel alive. I'm scared that we won't have spaces like that online anymore soon. and I'm worried we may lose them irl too. idk what I would do if that happens. I refuse to go back in the closet now, about any part of myself. I guess that's where the thoughts of suicide come up again of course
I'm just tired of it all and how broken our society feels
but more than that, being kinky and queer is central to my identity. the queer part of my identity is also already under legal attack obviously, and now I'm hyperaware of how the rest of my identity is under attack too. I just want to be myself. there's nothing dirty or wrong with me because of this. but it feels like everyone in the world is trying to make me feel like there is, like I'm shameful or a monster. everything from petty online bullies and "antis" all the way up to the legal system is all against the existence of me, my partners, and my friends.
I've seen how these avenues of expression have really helped me and my partners heal and better ourselves. it's one of the only ways I can reliably push back against my OCD. when I'm in a safe community space for people like me, I really feel alive. I'm scared that we won't have spaces like that online anymore soon. and I'm worried we may lose them irl too. idk what I would do if that happens. I refuse to go back in the closet now, about any part of myself. I guess that's where the thoughts of suicide come up again of course
I'm just tired of it all and how broken our society feels
