I understand and what I personally find so terrible is how there is no acceptance towards wanting death even know this existence was imposed in the first place, no matter what I'd always prefer to not exist and I suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to painlessly die in peace. I wish I could simply choose to cease existing and never suffer ever again, as non-existence truly is all I see as desirable, I'd never wish to be burdened with this existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for, existence just feels like an abomination to me and I'd never wish to be conscious in this terrible, torturous existence no matter what but rather I just want nothingness.
I should be able to peacefully free myself from the imposition of existence and it's such a horrific world where human existence is seen as enslavement with suffering forced and prolonged no matter what with risks of trying to die leading to way worse agony as a result. Human existence truly does feel like the most cruel mistake to me and the thought of prolonging this unnecessary, meaningless suffering there was never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured just to die in agony from old age is so horrifying to me.