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GoSan1

GoSan1

Misfit
Nov 7, 2024
303
Day after day, it just continues.

I look forward to a vacation in Spain with my family, since the beaches always relax me, and I was able to help my mother financially to make that vacation even happen to begin with.
Then I realized that life will just continue after that. Nothing to look forward to. Just surviving, passively waiting for the time I actually can take my own life.
I tried taking some "drugs" like CBD and CBC, in hopes my pains and moods would improve. Well I had many pains again today, and they did not work whatsoever.

Music is my only company, as well as my bed.
They never hurt me, they are always ready for me, and they don't ask much of me.
Anime drags me into a fragile world of distraction, just to be hit with a large wave of realization of what this world is.

Lost my faith, lost my sanity, lost myself, and the only thing I gained is tiredness and despair.
There is no point in finding love anymore, since it won't change a thing about this life or myself.
It's all just over. Nothing else to do then accept and survive. Nothing will ever happen to the trash that is me.

I'm so sorry to the younger me that tried his best to somehow get god to hear him.
In the end, things have only gotten worse.
I truly might be in hell.
I am sorry.
So sorry...
 
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