It is healthier when friends or partners are on a similar intelligence level?

[noname223]

I know that might be a weird question but I read this often.
Especially, men could not cope when their female partner is smarter than them. They feel intimidated.
I had the best chemistry with women who were smarter than me. And they appreciated my deep talk. I often got the compliment that they appreciated our conversations. Personally, I think I don't have a problem if a woman is smarter than me. It is more important how I am treated by her.

We in our friend group are all on a similar level. We have a group of 5 where we discuss politics. And I enjoy this a lot. I have the feeling if one of us was extremely intellectually gifted he would be bored by our discussions and might ruin the experience for most of us. But I am unsure. However, I think intelligence is less important than the political orientation. Many women say they cannot imagine a relationship with a Trumpist or AfD voter. And my friends would have a problem with me if I were a stanch Israel supporter. Morals and ethics seem to be more important than raw intelligence.

What do you think?

I think some extremely inellectually gifted people don't give a fuck about it. It can also induce the feeling of alienation if one is always the smartest in the room. I think the quantum physics professor was against such classifications.

 

[DarkRange55]

I think you answered your own question. Morality and ethics are more important in a friendship, probably almost any relationship technically.

There's the law of 33% - spend 33% of your time with people at your level, your peers. 33% with people more advanced than you, where you want to be. And 33% of your time teaching people less advanced you are.

You want a partner that can stimulate and hold a conversation with you but that doesn't mean they necessarily need to be an intellectual super genius.

I have just always been drawn to what I view as intelligent people. I was very, very fortunate growing up to be around a lot of gifted people. I also just am personally big on mentors.

Yeah, one of the smartest guys I ever worked with, I learned a lot from him. He was brilliant, extremely experienced and talented. But he was a dick and genuinely truly did not care.

 

[alexfb072]

I think yes

 

[barely_afloat]

I think it's a strong generalization to say that men can't cope with women being smarter than them. I'm not sure if you're a man or not (the way you talk about your experience with women makes it seem like you are), but if so, you can see how there would be countless other men that have the same views about women as you do. While it's true that men may have absurd views about women, I think many generalizations are overblown and a small but vocal minority think that way, which is still a problem of course.

As for intelligence between friends or partners... In my opinion, I think it's more so about humility. If somebody is smarter than their friend group, I don't think anybody would mind unless they are arrogant about their intellect. It goes both ways as well. If a person who might not be as bright feels inferior or jealousy, that would probably sabotage a relationship as well.

Personally, I don't like to think about whether a person is smart or not. I'm sure you've heard about how IQ tests aren't representative of all forms of intelligence. If that's the case, how else can we quantify true intelligence? I think we're all experts in our own niche areas of interests. For example, I could be knowledgeable when it comes to science, but when it comes to economics, I would need to defer to someone that's knowledgeable in that field. The argument could be made that some people can gain mastery over new material faster than others, but that's a separate conversation.

Sorry for yapping... I just really liked your question.