• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

Jinnberg

Jinnberg

Member
Apr 23, 2021
24
Whenever I start to draw or write, I often think to myself "is this how I'm going to spend my last year alive? Doing something I only do as a substitute for the validation I never got as a child? Something I hate doing?"

I don't really have any other hobbies, but drawing makes me miserable. Everything makes me miserable, so it's really not like drawing is the issue here. Doing anything is so painful and makes me want to die.

I spend my days laying in bed, waiting for my death date. I should have the money I need by next year to ctb successfully.

I'm always thinking of dying, not a day goes by where I don't violently sob at the thought of spending another second here.

I'm spending my last year alive doing things I hate, talking to people who wouldn't care if I live or die, but I don't know if I could even last another year like this. It's so unbearable.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: hungry, waitingforrest, watchingthewheels and 4 others
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,430
Whenever I start to draw or write, I often think to myself "is this how I'm going to spend my last year alive? Doing something I only do as a substitute for the validation I never got as a child? Something I hate doing?"

I don't really have any other hobbies, but drawing makes me miserable. Everything makes me miserable, so it's really not like drawing is the issue here. Doing anything is so painful and makes me want to die.

I spend my days laying in bed, waiting for my death date. I should have the money I need by next year to ctb successfully.

I'm always thinking of dying, not a day goes by where I don't violently sob at the thought of spending another second here.

I'm spending my last year alive doing things I hate, talking to people who wouldn't care if I live or die, but I don't know if I could even last another year like this. It's so unbearable.
May I ask what has brought you to this point? I am very sorry that life has been unfair to us :(
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jinnberg
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,096
I'm sorry that you are in such an awful situation. Everything is also depressing to me as well and most things just make me feel worse. All that I feel like I am doing is waiting around to die, I see no point to living. I know that it can be awful living a life you hate. I wish you the best in whatever happens, I hope that you find relief from your suffering.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jinnberg and Rogue Proxy
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,913
Sounds like peak depression. I hope you fall back into intermediate misery, where I dwell.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jinnberg
Jinnberg

Jinnberg

Member
Apr 23, 2021
24
May I ask what has brought you to this point? I am very sorry that life has been unfair to us :(
It's mostly a mix of alot of different life events that I had little to no control over. So, severe trauma that I've been working through my entire life but unfortunately nothing has helped me cope with it.

It's a long story, that I would rather not delve deep into at this moment, sorry!! D:
 

Similar threads

tercermundista
Replies
4
Views
96
Suicide Discussion
Kali_Yuga13
Kali_Yuga13
fireplace19
Replies
2
Views
100
Suicide Discussion
claracatchingthebus
claracatchingthebus
dollangel
Replies
5
Views
278
Suicide Discussion
looking4partner
L
LancyLoew
Replies
7
Views
374
Recovery
LancyLoew
LancyLoew