Is there something you want to do before you leave ?

[shadow11]

I don't know exactly how I'm going to go, but hanging might be easier and more reliable than some of the other ones as long as u do full suspension.

This is what I'm hoping

 

[Final Escape]

Sometimes I wish I had a super sharp big knife that I could cut my throat with and I would barely feel it. I would just bleed to death and collapse. Partial decapitate and make it cut deep so u can't survive.

 

[Tiburcio]

Sometimes I wish I had a super sharp big knife that I could cut my throat with and I would barely feel it. I would just bleed to death and collapse. Partial decapitate and make it cut deep so u can't survive.

I like it

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Like in question I'm kinda curious about you guys. For me it is a car trip to Scotland on which I am right now. Also I will try to get chance to drive MX5, pretending I want to buy it. Hopefully it will work. Last thing would be speaking with someone who feels like me and could understand through what I'm going. The relieving confession... Beside of that, I wish I could quit peacefully in rays of red sunset, looking at shapes of mountains and purple clouds on horizon, far far away from home in heart of wild Scotland, not lamenting and weeping but smiling to coming death. That's my wish.

Sounds absolutely wonderful Raptor. The Listener is the one thing everyone needs...so sorry Raptor.
The only thing I want to do is get all the stuff I need to leave the planet. I am not desperate, just impatient...smile. Actually I am very much at peace with my going. Hugs Raptor.

 

[FadedMemory]

I wanna try again with my exams to enroll in college I wanted though I never actually plan to go to any class since I'll be gone in july next summer. Just so I prove myself that I could have done it, and to have a plan B if I somehow fail to end myself. Also, while I don't believe in the afterlife, I dread leaving "unfinished business" behind.
Since I still have a year, I will fake being a normal person, in this newer, bigger town, I will try for one last time to be normal, to help someone and be the best version of myself, and maybe someone will actually be sad enough to feel something when they hear the news.

 

[RaptorHavx]

Sounds absolutely wonderful Raptor. The Listener is the one thing everyone needs...so sorry Raptor.
The only thing I want to do is get all the stuff I need to leave the planet. I am not desperate, just impatient...smile. Actually I am very much at peace with my going. Hugs Raptor.

*hugs*

 

[RaptorHavx]

I start to feel really sad that I can't see you guys. We are spread all around the world. Speaking to some of you would be so comforting...

 

[RaptorHavx]

I've chatted with "Wangan" and now I can't stop thinking of cruising with him on some highway in our cars. Going side by side and just enjoying the road and sound of revving engine.

 

[Volatile]

Have premarital sex

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

All I would like to do is go one day without these symptoms I have from the Benzo cold turkey nearly two years ago.

I was speaking with my husband yesterday about it, he really has NO idea about any of it, he totally refuses to accept his part in it, when they forced me into it and refused me any help, all he was bothered about was his fucking factory job. That's all he ever cared about, going to work in a shitty factory while people who were paid to support and help me, took everything away from me almost in an instant.

Once I became bedridden from the withdrawal for almost a year, I lost all of my friends and contacts. All he did was shout at me for not cleaning the house in one day etc. I could barely walk most days, my body began to waste away, something that has been happening ever since that day in September 2016.

I am in two minds about getting some Benzos off the street for my last week and feeling what it would be like to be free of these symptoms, but I don't think I will, because when I CTB it is likely they'll do an autopsy and find the stuff in my system, then they'll blame that rather than their mistakes.

I was speaking to someone at a drug rights charity based in London, he's very good at what he does, I often wonder if when I go, I can leave enough info behind for them to pursue the drug addiction company for some kind of retribution, even if it is just social retribution in the sense they have to undergo training and awareness around Benzos and people coming off them. I never wanted to sue anyone, that's not my game, that's personal, and this is not, all I want is awareness, awareness of what has happened to me and how it must never happen again.

They need to know that no human being is equipped to deal with Benzo withdrawal. No matter who you say you are, you're not equipped with what would be needed to go through this, it has broken even the strongest among us, which I never was.

So yeah, my last wish would be not to feel the 30+ symptoms I feel all the time, day in, day out. Compared to the wishes of some, travel etc, this is not so much to ask really is it. I just want to feel okay before I go. One fucking day, I am asking for one fucking day without this.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Get revenge against the person that is the reason my life got fucked up.

 

[DerSonnenschein]

Get revenge against the person that is the reason my life got fucked up.

yourself? Yeah, we're all kinda self-destructive.

 

[Sharethepain]

I'd like to hug my ex once more, well, hundreds of times preferrably. But I guess we can't have everything.

 

[Imaginos]

Overcome my survival instinct so I can CTB sooner, assuming I ever can at all. I can't even wrap my head around how anyone can see something worthwhile in this deeply disturbing universe, let alone on this horrid rock we call "home" (more like a giant open air prison, if you ask me). I mean, what? Traveling? Amassing some form of personal wealth? Finding true everlasting friendships/romance? And......hell I can't even think of anything else. What do most human beings want anyway? I'm just guessing here since I'm so detached from all that worthless nonsense that I truly haven't the foggiest idea. As far as I'm concerned, all that stuff is on the same level of some random kook going around wanting to collect a bunch of random pebbles off the street for the rest of his life. A staggeringly stupid waste of time for what is essentially nothing in the end. So it goes for everything humans chase after. If you'll forgive the rather blunt segue, I once saw a psychiatrist many years ago (a rather open minded & respectable individual which, needless to say, certainly aren't the kinds of qualities one expects to find in those of that particular profession) and during one of our meetings he leaned over his desk and looked at me and said, "You know 'Insert my name here', it really is all bullshit. Life, I mean." I recall how hard we all laughed together afterwards (since my mother was actually there with me as well by my request to make me feel more comfortable), as both her & I agreed with him that "Yeah, it really is". And indeed, to this day, it still is. As it always will be.

 

[CRM]

I'd like to finish writing a novel that no one will ever read (I want it that way). Writing and video games are the only things I do anymore, and I don't even enjoy video games half the time; it's just something I do to pass the time. Boredom is the absolute worst.

 

[Putridsoul]

Not really

 

[lastsummer]

many things.

 

[lostinthedream]

I want to make peace with everyone in life before I ctb

 

[SnowyDreams]

I would have liked to see snow in real life. Since I live in a tropical climate (which I hate) there's no snow here. But tbh I was content with seeing another winter, which is now ending here, and it was decently cold, so I liked that and I can go now.

 

[Lee]

There's nothing. Hell, if I could think of things I actually wanted to do, I wouldn't be on this site at all.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I would have liked to see snow in real life. Since I live in a tropical climate (which I hate) there's no snow here. But tbh I was content with seeing another winter, which is now ending here, and it was decently cold, so I liked that and I can go now.

where do you live? i live in cold europe and the weather is depressing

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I want to make peace with everyone in life before I ctb

same. except that i also want to destroy my enemies. make peace with the rest though

 

[midastic]

I've always wanted to try fried chicken. But living in a strict religious household that's vegetarian. Its going to be hard to get ahold of some and I am impatient to CTB.

 

[bigj75]

I've always wanted to try fried chicken. But living in a strict religious household that's vegetarian. Its going to be hard to get ahold of some and I am impatient to CTB.

wow. Friend chicken is great. Hope you get to try it.