Venting Is my only hope really just someone else killing me?

[inkmage333]

It's a pipe dream at this point to have someone kill me (e.g. dying as a result of someone committing terrorism/mass shooting) or to die in a freak accident, but at this point it might genuinely my best possible way out without bringing too much pain to my family and friends. At least if I die like that, they won't blame themselves for not doing more. Yes, they'll grieve (probably), but at least it'll be just a little easier to move on because they can live knowing it wasn't their fault.

...Also, I just looked at my funds and I'm too broke for SN. We don't have any rope around either (and I'm also too broke to get that too, shockingly). So yeah I might be really fucked, my best way to ctb might genuinely be for someone, something, somehow to kill me. If a tree falls on my car and kills me instantly I'd be happy with that too. I just want out.

 

[badatparties]

They might not kill you, but shoot or stab you in the stomach, and have you pooping in a colostomy bag for the rest of your life. Bad bad idea.