Venting Is it really wrong to not leave a suicide note?

[gardenoflonely]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

 

[if_i_make_it]

I agree. When we've been routinely hurt and dismissed by people in our lives, a note can be just another instance of placating their emotions. In my case, they know exactly what they've done, it's not my responsibility to protect them from the consequences of their own behavior, when I just want to rest.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

I won't leave one, I don't feel the need to say goodbye

 

[peacebenow]

do what feels true to you.

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

like your completely letting go of caring what anyone says or thinks or the real truth because you already know the truth and the fight is over.

 

[rainy.tears]

I would guess the reason to leave a note would be to make things easier for anyone you love or care about, to help them understand and to reassure them that there was nothing more that they could have done. If I die I want to cause as little suffering as possible to the ones left behind. Of course, I can appreciate that you might not have anyone you care about enough to leave a note. It also makes sense that you wouldn't want to be misunderstood given you say you've not been understood by others so far in life.

I hope you make the choice that feels right for you :)

 

[dreamofnofuture]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

I don't think it's bad. You don't owe anyone an explanation on your way to peace.

If I end things, I'll leave a note for the police, saying, "I killed myself. Sorry for the inconvenience" Hopefully they'll close the case, as I think they'll only investigate if they think foul play is involved in the country I live.

I could be wrong, but that's what I'd do as I don't want them going through my phone. It's highly personal, notes and stories and stuff. I know it won't matter when I'm dead, but it'll still feel like an invasion of privacy knowing it could happen beforehand.​

I won't leave one, I don't feel the need to say goodbye

Me neither. It's not really necessary either, imo. I think ppl just do it bc it's expected at this point. Everyone leaves suicide notes, right? Another reason is because they feel like they need to explain themselves and placate loved ones for nicety's sake, really.​

 

[gardenoflonely]

I agree. When we've been routinely hurt and dismissed by people in our lives, a note can be just another instance of placating their emotions. In my case, they know exactly what they've done, it's not my responsibility to protect them from the consequences of their own behavior, when I just want to rest.

This is how I feel in my case too honestly, to not only hurt me but then also expect enough grace to be let into my personal life and deep inner thoughts..it's just whatever at this point. I seriously am having trouble caring. I've begged and pleaded to be listened to and no one who could change certain things did.

 

[thelostautistic]

I don't think it's wrong. It's just a personal choice at the end of the day. I personally want to leave one if I decide to go because I have things to explain and questions to answer but that's my choice.

 

[insectontrial]

Personally, I'll be leaving one, but I will say this. I came across a video on social media which was about suicide prevention, and I then read the comments, one of which said "I believe all people who commit suicide should leave a note explaining why". I felt rather uncomfortable reading that. People do not *owe* anyone a justification for it. Some people might not have had the best family life and feel they wouldn't deserve an explanation, and that's fair enough.

 

[aceHardlight]

A death without answers would be harder to stomach for loved ones... When I CTB I'll certainly leave a comforting note

 

[VegasLyra]

A death without answers would be harder to stomach for loved ones... When I CTB I'll certainly leave a comforting note

Same here. I've been browsing r/SuicideBereavement and I don't want to cause too much pain for my loved ones

 

[SASU-KE]

The beauty is you don't have to worry about anything when you're dead. Absolutely nothing. You escape everything. So if you don't feel like doing a certain thing, don't do it. And if you feel they don't deserve an explanation, there's no need to leave a note either.

 

[name2come]

I feel like I haven't been understood my entire life. I don't see the point in offering anyone an explanation for anything I do at this point. Would anyone in my life even deserve a note, really? Is it so awful that I don't want my words to get twisted? Of all the discussions that went left in life I don't want that to continue when I can't defend myself. I've already had horrible lies made up about me, I just don't care anymore. If there's no note they can make up whatever explanation they want then. I've been so hurt by everyone that anything I could write would just come across as passing fault onto them when I know truly it's my decision.

Of course that's okay. A note is an expression of you but if you don't want to express anything, even if just because you have no faith others will listen to you, that is obviously valid. I'm sorry you feel like you've never really been heard or listened to. I've experienced that a lot, too, and I'm also struggling with whether to write a note. I'm writing something down for myself but I'm unsure if I want to make it into My Note or just do it for my own edification. That could be an exercise you could try. You can never control how other people will feel or respond. That's on them, for better or worse.

 

[Dejected 55]

Despite what you see in movies and TV, all the studies show that most people don't leave notes. I think it's maybe like 1/3 or something close to that worldwide average. Could be more common in some cultures or with some times of depression... but by and large more people die without leaving notes.

For me it's a matter of this... anyone in my life that I wanted to tell anything, I've told them. A large part of why I don't want to be alive anymore is because nobody really cares or sees me... and I've tried to interact and connect. So, there really isn't anything else left to say. I've also told anyone I cared about when I attempted previously and they know I'd like to do it again and be successful next time. So, there's nothing worth leaving a note to tell anyone.