Is it really that hard for normal people to recognize depression

[kipstriesagain]

A friend of mine said she doesn't like another friend of mine because he comes off as flat, apathetic, like he's lazy etc. She came off really mean and I understand not getting along with people who have the flat affect but seriously? I find it very obvious he's depressed. He always talks about not wanting to do anything and hardly leaves his home. Do normal people really see us as lazy freaks unless we're expressly suicidal??! This has just been on my mind since she told me

 

[capi]

I dont know, people would actually notice when my abuser was depressed and ask him what was wrong and be all sweet, but everyone treated me hostile and straight up ignored my suffering and obvious abuse signs. Literally only one time did someone notice i was so obviously depressed and say it was insane.
I learned people just dont care

 

[Agon321]

It depends.
Using my example, someone familiar with the topic might guess that I have depression.
I'm currently not working, not studying, mostly staying home, seeming tired, etc.
Although, on the other hand, I can also mask myself when I'm outdoors and give a different impression.

A huge number of people suffer from mental illness, so when I pass people on the street, I assume that many of them have their own demons.

 

[Groundhog_Day]

I think mental illness will always be hard to understand and empathize with, especially for those fortunate enough to be relatively healthy mentally. Physical suffering is so much easier to see and empathize with.

If i ever mention that i'm struggling mentally, my brother will immediately say "Well i think we should just be so bloody grateful. So many people have it so much worse." He often then mentions examples of extreme physical suffering. I'm dumb, but i've finally realised not to ever mention that i'm struggling if my brother asks how i'm doing. This lecture always follows, and makes me feel worse.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Forever Sleep]

A friend's Mum said she genuinely couldn't understand till they changed the medication she was on and she experienced a depressive episode as a result. I suppose some people don't quite understand.

I think there's also a stark contrast between feeling lethargic but still having things you want to achieve in life vs. Having no energy and not even caring much about life either. I don't think they do really realise how much harder life is when people don't even care all that much about their goals.

It's like playing football where you have no energy to kick the ball and no clear sense where the goal is either. How do they even expect people to play like that?

 

[witchcraft]

I can recognize without understanding people who have no mental illness and seem perfectly content with their life in this world. But I really don't get how someone can't even recognize depression given how much it is talked about in schools and our culture more broadly, or wonder if a person like your friend might be depressed. That would be like saying that I can't tell when a person at least seems to be doing mentally well... how can someone not even tell when another person seems like they may be depressed or just sad?

Look, I get it. Even though I'm suicidal, it's tricky for me to recognize depression in people who mask really well unless I'm maybe around them a lot and get to know them better. Nobody has a perfect "radar" for this kind of thing. Though there still comes a point where it genuinely baffles me.

Anyway, in an attempt to answer my own question, someone just might not care; I live in a society that breeds narcissism, and certain ages I think are already more prone to exhibiting narcissism to begin with (this is different from being a narcissist, as in the full-blown personality disorder). By the same token, a narcissistic person might take your friend's behavior personally if they do notice. They see it as an affront to them and the current situation. None of which is to suggest your one friend is a narcissist, I'm just brainstorming in general.

Similarly, a person might be an emotional sponge, which makes them really dislike being around someone who is depressed or seems grumpy or whatever. I am super susceptible to the energy and vibe of other people because growing up I always had to try and manage my parents' emotions. Speaking for myself, I can be a real prick when I'm depressed, so it doesn't surprise me when someone keeps their distance and thinks I'm just an asshole.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה, "healthy" people are only concerned with receiving their rewards for their social interaction, e.g. money, sex, property, entertainment etc.

Thus they are bothered if another member of the colony is not producing for them but have no other reason to care about 'internal state,' as is the realm of experts and 'therapy' to get a person producing for them again.