• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
I try and tell myself that this is all just a dream. None of it matters. Even if I had what I wanted from life, I'd just lose it all someday anyway. And that what a normal life consists of doesn't interest me and is really boring.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: DeIetedUser4739 and Forever Sleep
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
13,040
I can't imagine not feeling afraid at the end. SI is bound to kick in I would have thought. We're designed to fear and try and avoid things we know are going to hurt us.

I know what you mean though. I'm hoping cold hard logic will win out when the time comes. As in- you don't want to go on living like this so- get this small action done with and (hopefully) bring about a long coming conclusion to this shit.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Ambivalent1
J

jxt2024

Member
Dec 1, 2023
39
It's pretty hard to overcome the fear when you are fully conscious. Some days, you get low enough to push boundary bit by bit
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Ambivalent1
U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,447
No, I believe once we are ready the fear will be gone and it will be peaceful and relaxing. The brain has given up hope of recovery and is ready to let go.

The fear comes from wondering if we are making a mistake and we might still be able to get better.
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
I can't imagine not feeling afraid at the end. SI is bound to kick in I would have thought. We're designed to fear and try and avoid things we know are going to hurt us.

I know what you mean though. I'm hoping cold hard logic will win out when the time comes. As in- you don't want to go on living like this so- get this small action done with and (hopefully) bring about a long coming conclusion to this shit.
I think I should solve my sleep deprivation problem so I can use cold hard logic. I'm an emotional wreck and have been for awhile
No, I believe once we are ready the fear will be gone and it will be peaceful and relaxing. The brain has given up hope of recovery and is ready to let go.

The fear comes from wondering if we are making a mistake and we might still be able to get better.
Then I'd feel fear because id be pushed to ctb by circumstances. 😞
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Forever Sleep
MisterOGBongWater

MisterOGBongWater

Student
Aug 30, 2023
143
of course. its not supposed to be this way. im sure when its my time ill be sitting there terrified, wishing it could be different my life, but this is the reality, and the sooner that i accept that, the sooner i can escape this
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Ambivalent1
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
of course. its not supposed to be this way. im sure when its my time ill be sitting there terrified, wishing it could be different my life, but this is the reality, and the sooner that i accept that, the sooner i can escape this
And the comforting thought that these brain created feelings won't matter when the brain is no more.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MisterOGBongWater
MisterOGBongWater

MisterOGBongWater

Student
Aug 30, 2023
143
And the comforting thought that these brain created feelings won't matter when the brain is no more.
itll all be gone. waking up cold and alone, regrets in my life, the people ive burdened, the mistakes ive made, the absolute crippling emptiness i feel everyday shes gone. i just want to go to sleep.
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
itll all be gone. waking up cold and alone, regrets in my life, the people ive burdened, the mistakes ive made, the absolute crippling emptiness i feel everyday shes gone. i just want to go to sleep.
I'm sorry 😞 yeah the dream vanishes and is replaced by a "land" of no memory. So I guess Death is in a sense a kind of healing. I like to view death as a brilliant white as opposed to an imposing darkness.
 
MisterOGBongWater

MisterOGBongWater

Student
Aug 30, 2023
143
I'm sorry 😞 yeah the dream vanishes and is replaced by a "land" of no memory. So I guess Death is in a sense a kind of healing. I like to view death as a brilliant white as opposed to an imposing darkness.
I havent heard that before, ive always thought of it as imposing darkness. a brilliant white sounds much more healing. healing indeed, nothing else will save me from this life ive created for myself. i hope your right, i hope death is kinder to me than i ever was to myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ambivalent1
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,758
ive seen many goodbye threads here. Pm with a lot here. Imo Many of them were not afraid. Saw a lot of suicides on watch people die .com they didnt look afraid to me. Theres even guy did a dance before jumping. Did ronnie mcnut look afraid?

I am not afraid of Death. Death is non-existence forever

Why is non-existence the best thing? No chance of extreme suffering, horrible problems , excruciating pain, terrible memories, all problems solved, no work, no chores, no worries, no stres, no injustice, no oppression, no unfairness, no lies, no diseases, no old age, no unmet desires, no cringe, no boredom..... i cant see why soneone wouldn't want that or be afraid of that

I am not afraid of Death. To "me" non-existence forever is the most beautiful thing by a trillion times
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
Reactions: ijustwishtodie
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
I havent heard that before, ive always thought of it as imposing darkness. a brilliant white sounds much more healing. healing indeed, nothing else will save me from this life ive created for myself. i hope your right, i hope death is kinder to me than i ever was to myself.
I hope it's kinder to me than other people have been
 
  • Like
Reactions: MisterOGBongWater
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
ive seen many goodbye threads here. Pm with a lot here. Imo Many of them were not afraid. Saw a lot of suicides on watch people die .com they didnt look afraid to me. Theres even guy did a dance before jumping. Did ronnie mcnut look afraid?
Lucky them but I probably won't have the same experience
 

Similar threads

batmanreal
Replies
2
Views
145
Suicide Discussion
Crash_Bash_Dash
Crash_Bash_Dash
batmanreal
Replies
15
Views
460
Offtopic
ThePainKiller
ThePainKiller
A
Replies
0
Views
27
Suicide Discussion
almostmyfinalgoodby
A
batmanreal
Replies
4
Views
280
Suicide Discussion
ManOfTheYear
ManOfTheYear
qwert3948
Replies
1
Views
94
Suicide Discussion
mysticatedwine
mysticatedwine