sashaisalone
Shattered Angel
- Mar 24, 2026
- 52
Good afternoon, post contains suggestive commentary, and I've spoilered a thirst trap.
These are some thoughts that have been on my mind a lot, and hearing another trans woman speaking about her ex boyfriend being ambivalent about dating her for this reason kinda solidifies it for me. So pretty much the entirety of my romantic life post transition has been sapphic T4T, meaning I've only ended up in romantic relationships with other trans women even though I'm bisexual and desire romance with cis people both male and female. Although I've successfully got cis people in my bed before post transition, it's rare I've gotten a cis person to go on a second date with me, however I have had more luck with lesbian and bi women than straight or bi men. This post will mostly be focusing on men.
Something I also want to be understanding of and relate back to my own preferences; genital preferences in an intimate setting is perfectly valid! Although I like both pussy and dick in women, I have a VERY strong genital preference for dick in men. So I do see many FTMs and find them really handsome, sweet, and cute, and I even find myself daydreaming when I see a particularly good looking one and think about how nice it would feel if he held my hand and kissed me. However, I'm unsure how comfortable I'd be in the bedroom with an FTM unless he were post op and I thought his dick looked good. So for straight men and lesbian women (in some cases bi/pan people), it makes total sense if one of them were to pass me up simply because of my anatomy!
However, it's not common that I hear someone talk about trans women similarly where they're like "Yeah! There are some genuinely beautiful gorgeous trans women out there! However, I'm not sure if I could be intimate with or enter a serious relationship with someone with a dick. Maybe if she were post op though?" and if it's a straight guy maybe additionally "Then again, I as a straight man really want to father biological children, so probably not." More often than not, it feels like it instead comes from a place of either transmisogyny, homophobia, toxic masculinity, or a combination of the three. That we in some way maintain some constant of "ontological maleness" regardless of how we physically appear and carry ourselves. Obviously with lesbians, especially ones who WOULD date a trans men on testosterone and even one who has had top surgery, they're not homophobic nor toxically masculine, but almost certainly are transmisogynistic. For men however, it's more likely to be the threeway combination. Trans woman porn is one of the most popular porn categories even ahead of MILF, and all porn is tailored to the male gaze, including lesbian porn. I've also been catcalled or whistled at several times and even on a couple instances sexually harassed by male strangers.
Clearly, men do experience sexual attraction to us. Not only that, while we are often a favorite of bisexuals both male and female, attraction to the female form but with a penis seems to be a subset of GYNEPHELIC attraction as opposed to androphilic attraction. Men who are attracted to such a body are far more likely to be primarily or exclusively straight men than be gay men. So while there's clear erotic interest in us, it often feels hopeless that a man would ever love me, but cis people in general seem to be rather flaky towards me. For men in particular, not only can I just be reduced to a casual exotic curiosity, but there's more extrinsic social pressure to never seriously date me. Even if it doesn't make him feel gay, his friends might call him gay if he tells them about me. That, and although I don't think people are clocking me most of the time in public, it retroactively feels obvious when people do know, so a man being seen in public with me holding hands might feel spooky for him. That, and I do sometimes get clocked by strangers, and depending on how queer or trans adjacent meaning you have more exposure to what kinds of physical traits and patterns amongst transsexuals, you might have an eye for it and pick that up about me. I've also had others just straight up tell me that they would have never guessed or even express surprise like "no way".
It's not simply "my ex is to blame" for me being on these forums, however the fact that I was able to screw up love that pure and kind was also pretty blackpilling. The fact that it's so easy for the cishets to date around me and for me to never be anyone's first choice, ngl, I don't feel great about that either. People often talk about a "male loneliness epidemic" which often times is just men who don't shower and groom, dress in sweats and baggy shirts every day, and put no effort into making themselves marketable and appealing to women. But for men who truly are romantics at heart, they're attractive, they're sweet and gentlemenly, but they're damaged and neurotic, and women abandon them the moment their pain or trauma shows through, my heart really does go out to men like that. I often daydream about cradling a boy in my arms and him using my breasts as pillows while I stroke his hair and make soft shushing noises and his tears passively flow into my shirt. He's crying because he feels like he found someone who finally understands and wants him to feel at home and safe by her side. I feel like in a way, I lived it. I was a lonely neurotic guy myself before I transitioned, so I could come from a place of unique understanding. I've even considered getting elective vaginoplasty if I ever got married to a man despite me not feeling much dysphoria about my anatomy, just because I want to be able to give him my own pussy and to know what it feels like for my husband to spread me and make me REALLY feel like a woman.
All of that said, what's the perspective of men on what I've written? Also, based on the thirst trap I have spoilered, do I deserve love or is it actually joever for me?
These are some thoughts that have been on my mind a lot, and hearing another trans woman speaking about her ex boyfriend being ambivalent about dating her for this reason kinda solidifies it for me. So pretty much the entirety of my romantic life post transition has been sapphic T4T, meaning I've only ended up in romantic relationships with other trans women even though I'm bisexual and desire romance with cis people both male and female. Although I've successfully got cis people in my bed before post transition, it's rare I've gotten a cis person to go on a second date with me, however I have had more luck with lesbian and bi women than straight or bi men. This post will mostly be focusing on men.
Something I also want to be understanding of and relate back to my own preferences; genital preferences in an intimate setting is perfectly valid! Although I like both pussy and dick in women, I have a VERY strong genital preference for dick in men. So I do see many FTMs and find them really handsome, sweet, and cute, and I even find myself daydreaming when I see a particularly good looking one and think about how nice it would feel if he held my hand and kissed me. However, I'm unsure how comfortable I'd be in the bedroom with an FTM unless he were post op and I thought his dick looked good. So for straight men and lesbian women (in some cases bi/pan people), it makes total sense if one of them were to pass me up simply because of my anatomy!
However, it's not common that I hear someone talk about trans women similarly where they're like "Yeah! There are some genuinely beautiful gorgeous trans women out there! However, I'm not sure if I could be intimate with or enter a serious relationship with someone with a dick. Maybe if she were post op though?" and if it's a straight guy maybe additionally "Then again, I as a straight man really want to father biological children, so probably not." More often than not, it feels like it instead comes from a place of either transmisogyny, homophobia, toxic masculinity, or a combination of the three. That we in some way maintain some constant of "ontological maleness" regardless of how we physically appear and carry ourselves. Obviously with lesbians, especially ones who WOULD date a trans men on testosterone and even one who has had top surgery, they're not homophobic nor toxically masculine, but almost certainly are transmisogynistic. For men however, it's more likely to be the threeway combination. Trans woman porn is one of the most popular porn categories even ahead of MILF, and all porn is tailored to the male gaze, including lesbian porn. I've also been catcalled or whistled at several times and even on a couple instances sexually harassed by male strangers.
Clearly, men do experience sexual attraction to us. Not only that, while we are often a favorite of bisexuals both male and female, attraction to the female form but with a penis seems to be a subset of GYNEPHELIC attraction as opposed to androphilic attraction. Men who are attracted to such a body are far more likely to be primarily or exclusively straight men than be gay men. So while there's clear erotic interest in us, it often feels hopeless that a man would ever love me, but cis people in general seem to be rather flaky towards me. For men in particular, not only can I just be reduced to a casual exotic curiosity, but there's more extrinsic social pressure to never seriously date me. Even if it doesn't make him feel gay, his friends might call him gay if he tells them about me. That, and although I don't think people are clocking me most of the time in public, it retroactively feels obvious when people do know, so a man being seen in public with me holding hands might feel spooky for him. That, and I do sometimes get clocked by strangers, and depending on how queer or trans adjacent meaning you have more exposure to what kinds of physical traits and patterns amongst transsexuals, you might have an eye for it and pick that up about me. I've also had others just straight up tell me that they would have never guessed or even express surprise like "no way".
It's not simply "my ex is to blame" for me being on these forums, however the fact that I was able to screw up love that pure and kind was also pretty blackpilling. The fact that it's so easy for the cishets to date around me and for me to never be anyone's first choice, ngl, I don't feel great about that either. People often talk about a "male loneliness epidemic" which often times is just men who don't shower and groom, dress in sweats and baggy shirts every day, and put no effort into making themselves marketable and appealing to women. But for men who truly are romantics at heart, they're attractive, they're sweet and gentlemenly, but they're damaged and neurotic, and women abandon them the moment their pain or trauma shows through, my heart really does go out to men like that. I often daydream about cradling a boy in my arms and him using my breasts as pillows while I stroke his hair and make soft shushing noises and his tears passively flow into my shirt. He's crying because he feels like he found someone who finally understands and wants him to feel at home and safe by her side. I feel like in a way, I lived it. I was a lonely neurotic guy myself before I transitioned, so I could come from a place of unique understanding. I've even considered getting elective vaginoplasty if I ever got married to a man despite me not feeling much dysphoria about my anatomy, just because I want to be able to give him my own pussy and to know what it feels like for my husband to spread me and make me REALLY feel like a woman.
All of that said, what's the perspective of men on what I've written? Also, based on the thirst trap I have spoilered, do I deserve love or is it actually joever for me?
