Discussion Is CTB selfish / cowardly?

[ventingtimewithmars]

My friends believe CTB is selfish/cowardly. I pretended to agree with them, but they were all saying how while they would want to kill themself, but they wouldn't, because it's "an easy way out." I have no clue if they have any attempts, but with a lot of attempts, I know it's not fucking easy to try and kill yourself. It got me wondering though: do you think suicide is cowardly?

 

[MrDarkness]

In my personal opinion depending on the reasons why people ctb I could find selfish, I mean I plan to die cause I can't handle life, I'm leaving my family behind and causing them pain, I feel pretty selfish for it.

If someone is going to ctb via mental problems, chronic illness etc, it's not selfish. I just feel selfish cause I've lived a "decent" comfy life

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Selfish yes. Not cowardly, though.

 

[HyperEclipse]

In most cases I don't believe it's selfish. Especially if there's tremendous pain being suffered, such as that from a chronic illness be it either physical or mental. But I think chronic suicidal tendencies is often rooted in mental illness. I also believe that suicide is hardly any different than dying from any other kind of disease. But people who don't understand mental illness or suicide don't know how to process the idea of ending oneself. I think that's why they shift the blame onto the victim. (Could be wrong though) I also think it's equally as selfish for people to believe they have the right to people's lives simply because they cared about them. And no, suicide is not easy. It's not taking an "easy way out." Neither dying nor living is easy for us. Living brings immense pain that people who've never experienced it can understand. And I think being suicidal is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. And fighting that for years like many of us do is incredibly painful and people like to gloss over that, or simply don't understand. And actually attempting suicide is anything but cowardly. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to override your sense of self- preservation. And it takes guts to willingly endure any harsh symptoms of whatever method you chose. Staring death in the face is difficult even if you're certain you want to die.

 

[Mr2005]

The bottom one will be the most popular answer.

 

[pinkribbonscars]

On one hand it's selfish, because people will grieve when you pass.

On the other hand, it's selfish to expect a person to sacrifice their pain and suffering so you won't lose a loved one early.

I agree with @HyperEclipse 100%

Depression or unfortunate life circumstances like poverty or terminal illness are not the fault of the sufferer. I see the death as the cause of the social risk factors or illness the victim was experiencing, not the victim nor their families. It's no different than dying from cancer.

Also how on earth could anyone find it cowardly? Defeating your survival instinct isn't easy. I find it brave; especially if the victim is making a social statement or fighting for a cause.

 

[90starve]

suicide is one of the scariest and hardest decisions that somebody can make IMO. to permanently end your own life is not a cowardly thing at all, and takes a great amount of strength - and it's definitely not selfish. i will never get behind the "selfish argument", because i believe we should all have the right to choose what we do with our bodies, and that definitely includes suicide.

 

[conflagration]

To CTB you have to have balls of steel, so it is not cowardly.
Surely it is selfish as you do it because you want to minimize your suffering, but pretty much 99% of things you do in life is selfish. Close ones preventing you from CTB are also selfish because they just don't want to feel grief of losing you, so they want you to endure suffering, so they won't feel bad.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say it does have a selfish element. So do plenty of other things in life. I'd argue that having children to begin with is in part a selfish act. Then, expecting that person to develop and behave in a socially acceptable way is also selfish. Personally, I actually think it's more selfish to try and hang onto someone you know is suffering deeply because of the discomfort it will bring you if they go.

In terms of cowardice- I think it can work both ways. I admire people who give their all into revovery/ hanging on. I imagine they do it for their loved ones mostly. The actual act of suicide is terrifying though. I think it takes tremendous courage to knowingly hurt yourself. There are so many unknowns with it too. We don't really know for sure how much we will suffer. I truly suspect people who think it's cowardly haven't REALLY considered doing it themselves- beyond passive ideation anyhow.

 

[BlazingBob]

It depends. If a person has children who are still minors and totally depend on them, then yes that's selfish. Or if someone has a very loving and supportive family it certainly can be selfish. It just all depends. It's not a black and white issue.

 

[loopdaloop]

Depends on many factors, each case can be really different from one another. Could someone ctb to benefit others (i.e. altruistic suicide) ? Sure. Could someone be scared to die but overcome the fear and show courage? Sure.

In my case it is both selfish and cowardly, becuase I'm doing it for myself and I'm not scared of death but of life. It being selfish and cowardly doesn't bother me, it is what it is.

 

[Coolvin]

For me, it's never cowardly as I know how hard it is to do.

Selfish is an interesting question, as it's also selfish to expect someone to exist so they aren't hurt by your death. I think it's case by case on that, but generally sacrificing your life is such a big thing to do to yourself, it's quite different than my idea of selfishness, even if pain is inflicted on others.

Also, sometimes it's actually staying alive that is selfish.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Clear answer is NO neither cowardly nor selfish.

It need so much more courage to even plan and make a method ready and in the end being able to leave this world than to just say "everything gets better" and it's not selfish because in my opinion it's a human right to say I want to leave this world at anytime I think it is right for me.

 

[pinkribbonscars]

Also, sometimes it's actually staying alive that is selfish.

No one ever talks about how suicide can be altruistic at times

 

[Coolvin]

No one ever talks about how suicide can be altruistic at times

If my previous attempt was successful it would have been better for a lot of people. I went into it thinking that. Afterwards at the hospital got talked out of that view, regrettably for many.

 

[FuneralCry]

None of us are obligated to continue existing here so no. Those words are just insensitively used by pro-lifers who don't wish to accept that suicide is a perfectly valid and logical option to escape from all unnecessary suffering. To me those who manage to leave on their own terms despite the fact that suicide is purposely made so difficult are courageous, I admire them.

 

[anhed0nia]

I just think that to want to ctb, you have to be in an extraordinary amount of pain--and that is purely subjective. Some people have what the general public would call "better reasons" i.e. severe illness or trauma, but an individual's pain threshold is, you know, individual. If I want to ctb for a reason that you don't think is good enough because you personally could endure it, the only thing that tells you is that my tolerance for suffering is totally different from yours, and there isn't very much I can do about that. If my experience of pain is greater than my fear of death, that's really all there is to know. And of course I feel sorry for people who lose loved ones, but I don't relate to the attitude that someone should have to suffer intolerably for their entire life just so you personally don't have to do any of your own suffering.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

its neither selfish nor cowardly.
Its your life, you didnt ask to be born so you should have a right to say what you do with it.
its selfish to have children and force them into this world without consent just so you can have a "legacy" :"family name" or create life just to fulfill your own goals of feeling complete. Again all this life creation was from what YOU wanted.

Its not cowardly, its very brave to make an attempt at basically killing yourself as alot can go wrong, it also takes alot to fight survival instinct and many risks of living crippled or maimed/ brain damaged after.

 

[shantyizlit]

I'm selfish because I'm doing it for myself when I think we all have an obligation as living beings to help each other as much as we can.
I don't see how cowardice even comes into play here, it takes courage to ctb but it also takes courage at times to live life, especially one that you're not sure you want to live any longer.