Is anyone else angry?

[Thereisalwaysachoice]

Does anyone else feel angry or hostile when then they want to ctb?

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

No I don't I feel sort of at ease bur anxious and scared..... Its when I think of living I feel angry or hostile, I hate this world!

 

[Thereisalwaysachoice]

Yes me too. I hate this world too but honestly, me personally, I don't like the people in it (or myself) much more.

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I can only feel anger when im close to ending it. I get to afraid of the repercussions of my anger and end up turning it into the deepest sadness. so if you raise your voice at me,i just cry. its retarded.

 

[Emily123]

Yes . I am angry of the surgeons who botched me .

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

For ctb, no. Just immense sadness.
But I do feel anger and vengeance towards people who've made me this way.

 

[k75]

I'm not angry. I'm sad. Very, very sad. Devastated. There's very little anger in me. Maybe I just haven't reached that stage of grief yet? I don't know.

 

[SawItOnce]

I'm angry most of the time. I don't know at what.

For ctb, no. Just immense sadness.
But I do feel anger and vengeance towards people who've made me this way.

I feel for you...

 

[azucaramargo]

Does anyone else feel angry or hostile when then they want to ctb?

Very much so.

 

[SerenitySeeker]

I feel angry about the situations that have led me to have to CTB and sometimes at myself for not being able to just go ahead and do it.

 

[azucaramargo]

For ctb, no. Just immense sadness.
But I do feel anger and vengeance towards people who've made me this way.

They will be punished, for sure. But you don't need to worry about that. The best revenge now is getting great grades and treating yourself like a queen.

 

[SlackJim]

I used to feel very angry at other people, but I don't believe how I feel is anyone's fault but my own. Then I felt very angry at myself, I think now I have come to accept this state. I am a part of the whole, and some parts are suicidal. In some way I think this experience will benefit my soul.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Anger at my brother and sister who pushed me into this situation.
Anger at the way the universe works. The bad stuff goes on forever and the good stuff never lasts.
Most of all angry at myself for being an ignorant fool.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Sometimes I get angry but my emotions all over the place except for any good ones

 

[JimFord99]

Sometimes I get angry but my emotions all over the place except for any good ones

Well, you pointed out a typo of mine, that should make you feel good. Seriously, I don't have good emotions either.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

when I attempted to CTB last month, coming up to it I was the calmest I have been in a long time, Otherwise I am just angry all the time, no reason for it, I'm just a angry asshole naturally I guess!

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I fluctuate between anger and sadness.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Does anyone else feel angry or hostile when then they want to ctb?

I passed "angry" over a decade ago. Life is full enough of suffering (disease, accidents, painful aging...). But we people actively make it MUCH worse by preying on each other (bullying, physical and emotional violence, financial/legal predation, corruption among those empowered to pass/interpret/enforce the law...). On and on. We make an already tough situation far worse. :/ Then we have the gall to prohibit each other from leaving...

 

[justanotherday]

I have lots of anger and I am scared m because I do not know what to do with it.

 

[Busridin'26]

If I'm being honest with myself... I'm angry most of the time at everything and a lot of situations & people. I just live somewhere where explaining any of it isn't beneficial....

So most the time I'm just angry inside. Emotions I feel so much inside it's gross. I don't consider that aspect part of mental illness though.
Having just thought about it it makes a lot of sense for emotions I can't let myself feel come out in some way.

I feel disgusting in my body pretty much all of the time.

I'm pissed off about life. I'm pissed off that I feel stuck in it. I'm pissed off that I have take things so far into my own hand just to get away.

 

[Empty Smile]

I'm just angry at the people who brought me to this point, and sad it has to end this way.

And what's worse is, they'll be sad when I'm gone, then be angry at me for being "FUCKING SELFISH" because I took my own life.

Sigh, I just can't win....

 

[ForbiddenSiren]

Yeah for what people have turned me into.

 

[Final Escape]

Does anyone else feel angry or hostile when then they want to ctb?

Yes I think I felt this when I had active suicidal ideation. I just felt keyed up maybe not angry but it did seem that I had more energy than usual or like my flight fight response was on.

 

[Rushon]

It get clarity when I get angry. I want to CTB when I get sad, which is often. I lost 2 of my beloved dogs this past year, this is a poem that a friend sent to me, makes me cry every time and I am a guy!

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I' m not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you' ll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try and understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
In Heaven, far above,
And that I' d have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life,
I' d always thought,
I didn' t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I' d say good bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.


And then I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you,
And when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today for life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day' s the same day,
There' s no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do .
But you have been forgiven and now at last your free
So won' t you take My hand and share My life with Me? "


So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don' t think we' re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I' m right here,
In your heart.

I wish someone still loved me that much.....