gtr44
New Member
- May 11, 2026
- 1
Hello everyone from all around the world.
First post here. I'm glad I discovered this place where you can freely talk about suicide without judgment, and censorship - yes I know that it's why we're here so it's kind of redundant but still, I think it greatly helps to make decisions with greater peace of mind - no matter what choice we decide to make.
I won't write the story of my life since we all have our own and I think that the intensity of suffering is not measured by the experiences one has gone through, but by the emotions one has felt.
Anyway,
Having considered the suicide since a lot of years and "prepared my brain for it" (breaking down mental barriers: guilt, fear of nothingness, fear of what others might say...) things started to be more specific and finally led me here.
Since sincide ideas are living in my mind since a few years, I need to be absolutly sure that it's the "way to go", and so I have to see this idea through to the end to find out if, at the last second, this is the decision I need to take —or if, on the contrary, my survival instinct will hold me back and allow me to banish this idea - maybe forever. But I have to go check it out for myself because I don't want to live any longer with this idea gnawing at me deep inside, which is probably affecting my daily life and the way I act.
I have a few questions that I would like to ask if you don't mind.
1. To my suprise, It was pretty easy to get SN, would you mind checking the picture I attached to confirm if I'm not mistaken ? I'm pretty sure it's OK but you know - don't want to mess up with that. I'm considering the purity check (according to the great guide that I read on SS) ?
2. I understand that drinking SN could possibly lead to a nearly immediate vomit because of the taste, I would like to know if taking a lollipop or a candy right after that can be/has been considered ? (would take antiemetics as well - did carefully read the SS and PPEH guides)
3. Since I may not have a super precise scale to prepare the mix (planning to do that in the mountains - as suggested by my PP), is it a concern since I would use an approximation of the 25mg/50ml ratio ?
4. My initial idea was to put my head in a sealed plastic bag also containing a cotton soaked with choloroform. The goal was to fall asleep after a few minutes (and be kept asleep since the choroform vapors can't escape) and eventually die from CO2. I did not find anything about that method and would like to ask you if you ever heard about such a protocol ?
Thank you very much for your time and wish everybody to find peace - no matter how you decide to reach it.
First post here. I'm glad I discovered this place where you can freely talk about suicide without judgment, and censorship - yes I know that it's why we're here so it's kind of redundant but still, I think it greatly helps to make decisions with greater peace of mind - no matter what choice we decide to make.
I won't write the story of my life since we all have our own and I think that the intensity of suffering is not measured by the experiences one has gone through, but by the emotions one has felt.
Anyway,
Having considered the suicide since a lot of years and "prepared my brain for it" (breaking down mental barriers: guilt, fear of nothingness, fear of what others might say...) things started to be more specific and finally led me here.
Since sincide ideas are living in my mind since a few years, I need to be absolutly sure that it's the "way to go", and so I have to see this idea through to the end to find out if, at the last second, this is the decision I need to take —or if, on the contrary, my survival instinct will hold me back and allow me to banish this idea - maybe forever. But I have to go check it out for myself because I don't want to live any longer with this idea gnawing at me deep inside, which is probably affecting my daily life and the way I act.
I have a few questions that I would like to ask if you don't mind.
1. To my suprise, It was pretty easy to get SN, would you mind checking the picture I attached to confirm if I'm not mistaken ? I'm pretty sure it's OK but you know - don't want to mess up with that. I'm considering the purity check (according to the great guide that I read on SS) ?
2. I understand that drinking SN could possibly lead to a nearly immediate vomit because of the taste, I would like to know if taking a lollipop or a candy right after that can be/has been considered ? (would take antiemetics as well - did carefully read the SS and PPEH guides)
3. Since I may not have a super precise scale to prepare the mix (planning to do that in the mountains - as suggested by my PP), is it a concern since I would use an approximation of the 25mg/50ml ratio ?
4. My initial idea was to put my head in a sealed plastic bag also containing a cotton soaked with choloroform. The goal was to fall asleep after a few minutes (and be kept asleep since the choroform vapors can't escape) and eventually die from CO2. I did not find anything about that method and would like to ask you if you ever heard about such a protocol ?
Thank you very much for your time and wish everybody to find peace - no matter how you decide to reach it.
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