Introduce yourself

[byrondylan]

Hello. I'm a not very tech savvy newcomer. I am 60+ and in a very different position to most posters here I think. I don't want to die, I'm terrified of it. I'm lucky to have a family who I love. But this week I received a terminal cancer diagnosis and I'm so, so scared of the slow and painful end that I think it will give me. I want to be able to control how I go out. But I must admit that I am finding the forum and acronyms all rather overwhelming. I had never heard of Tor until now, I don't know if I will be able to crack the dark web

 

[burdentoeveryone]

hey everyone! i don't think i have the energy to write anything super long, but i thought it would be rude not to introduce myself >< i'm a 20yo from central europe. i struggle with bpd, c-ptsd, anxiety disorder and adhd which all combined makes it literally impossible for me to function like a normal human being and i don't really see a future for myself. i'm chronically suicidal at this point, i've attempted twice before and i want to make sure i never fail again... i wish i could end it all now, but i don't want to cause my mom any more pain and idk, i'm not 100% sure about my decision yet so i'm postponing it for now, and idk, maybe some fucking miracle will happen that will give me a reason to live someday. i don't really believe i'll be alive at 25 though.
i can't open up about my problems to my irl friends, people always leave when they realise how fucked up i really am, so i hope to feel understood here at least :,,,)))
about my interests.....i spend a lot of time in nature, i'm a (not so great) plant mom and i'm a nerd about fungi. i really like travelling, but i don't have anyone to travel with and i don't have the money either. i try to distract myself with different hobbies all the time, but honestly i can't stick to anything, not much brings me any joy these days. i only really enjoy spending time with others, but i don't have that many friends and yeah... anyway! nice to meet yall!! :,,)) feel free to dm me anytime btw<3 i'm quite friendly i think, haha

 

[CapMoon]

Hi everyone.

40F, from the US. It's been rough these past few years. Really finding it hard to enjoy what I used to and difficult to find joy in general, but I do need to support others so I stay on. It doesn't make it necessarily easier.

The ideations started when I was 12, went away after I finished undergrad, then came back a few years ago.

I appreciate this forum as it gives me a sense of direction on how to ctb. It may be tomorrow or 10 years from now... I feel a bit more relieved that I'm not alone in this journey. Hoping to contribute what I can to this community. May everyone here get to experience peace.

 

[Euphoricfilth666]

Helloo... im a 18yo girl from Finland. As you can see i joined yesterday, very new here. Very surprisingly just found out abt this site.

I've been struggling for mostly all of my teen years, from around 5th grade. I planned to cbt around 7th grade, but that failed. I also attempted in 9th grade. Recently ive been struggling with an selfharm addiction? Not sure if thats the proper term but ive been doing it almost everyday. Sometimes out of pure boredom. I have stopped for a while since i fainted in the bathroom while doing it, and had to go get stitches. I think that kind of scared me away from it. I live with my parents still, since ive recently turned 18 (well, not super recently. im almost 19 lol.)

Currently, i think im doing kind of decent. Im in vocational school, and i think im pretty good in my line of work. Ive reconnected with some friends and they have boosted my overall mood.

I have really bad anxiety so please be patient with me :,) I suffer from depression and im also neurodivergent.

Some of my interests are:

• VNs
• BL manga and anime (or just anime in general.. mostly shoujo and josei though.)
• Videogames
• Cosplay
• Anime figurine collecting

Pretty standard nerd interests, right? I think we could get along, even if we have just one thing in common. :)

 

[orca1717]

Hey I'm late 20s from the UK and been lurking here for a good few years and finally joined.

Im a big metal head, enjoy games like counter strike, baldurs gate and Expedition 33, I enjoy to spend my time in nature.

Wont be around all that much longer but wanted to share a little about myself.

 

[yesi]

Hey I'm late 20s from the UK and been lurking here for a good few years and finally joined.

Im a big metal head, enjoy games like counter strike, baldurs gate and Expedition 33, I enjoy to spend my time in nature.

Wont be around all that much longer but wanted to share a little about myself.

Hey , very similar here, if you want to chat then I'm around. I can't message you because your account is too new but if you have discord or maybe telegram let me know.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

hihi!!

i'm an 18 y/o female from the US (Texas) who never wanted to reach the 18 milestone in the first place!! had been lurking around here for quite some time (maybee a year or so) and finally decided to join after completely f'ing my life over these past couple months (although i've been struggling w depression, ideation, and sh since my early adolescence) so there's that ^_^

that being said there's hardly any substance to me aside from art, aviation, meteorology, 'n music. i'm fairly an amateur on all of those topics i've brought up, however (except for music maybe). idk, can't be bothered to share a whole lot about myself when i'm going to ctb in january (via fsh). either way i hope i can make myself home here for the time being!!

 

[mjolnir]

I'm a man from Brazil, I've been following the forum for a while before creating an account.
I really enjoy listening to metal, indie rock, and MPB (Brazilian Popular Music). I'm a nutritionist, or almost that actually, after a burnout I didn't get my diploma even though I completed all the steps. I don't know how much longer I'll be here, but I'm open to hearing other stories here.

 

[ibewguy]

I'm a 30 Y/O Florida Man. My marriage has took quite the turn. I'm a people pleaser through and through and that has led me to where I am. My biggest passion is music. I love all music, but metal and electronic are my favorites. I'm an electrician by trade and am very passionate about my hobbies. I sacrificed my mental health for my marriage and she cheated on me. Leaving me to pick up the pieces. Still passionate about my hobbies though and that keeps me going enough.

 

[4colliez]

Hello! Im a girl in my early 20s from Europe, currently a student.
I like music, drawing, anime, video games, dogs, reading and learning about new things. I also travel a lot and am trying to learn a new language. I work with training working breed dogs and it's one of my only true passions in life. I think I like them so much because I recognise myself in their behaviours.

I am a very anxious person and general anxiety has taken control over most of my life. I've struggled with mental health basically as long as I can remember and I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. I don't know what I'm exactly looking for here, but currently experiencing a very intense down which is why I decided to stop lurking and to join.

 

[restingpiece]

hello everyone

i've been lurking this forum for a very long time now but due to some events that happened a few weeks ago i finally decided to make an account on here because i needed an appropriate outlet for my thoughts. i've kind of been procrastinating making an introduction post on here because i never really know what to say about myself but i'm gonna try my best.

i'm a 21 (soon to be 22) year old girl from northern europe. i currently live at home with my mom and i'm unemployed because i don't think i'm mentally capable of working with anything because of my autism and adhd, even though i really wish i could.

i like a lot of different things but they can all easily be narrowed down into art, music, games and horror related things. i mostly spend my days sitting in my room either drawing or playing games, as well as spend a lot of time with my long distance boyfriend online who i love very much and he is pretty much the only reason as to why my life feels stable at the moment, although there have been a few close calls which made me spiral back into being extremely depressed which is exactly why i ended up making an account.

i also really love animals, specifically cats and horses and i hope that i can maybe start horse riding again sometime soon. i find that being around horses really puts me at ease cause i think that they're very therapeutic animals to be around and i've always loved them since i was very young. i also have two pets, one cat and one dog. two of my other dogs unfortunately passed away earlier this year and i miss them both a lot.

i've struggled mentally on and off for as long as i can remember, i think it started when i was around 13 or 14. i've never been officially diagnosed with anything but i definitely feel as in recent years i've become more and more depressed, mostly due to the fact that i don't feel a sense of belonging in this world and i genuinely can't see a real future for myself because of everything i struggle with. i'm very scared of the concept of catching the bus, but at the same time the thought of it brings me a lot of peace cause i find living to be too overbearing sometimes.

but yeah, i think that's about it! i'm pretty scared of meeting new people but i hope i can still get along with you all :)

 

[Tombadil]

Hello, i´m 48, had a hard life, like pretty everyone else here on i guess. I suffer from severe trauma for a lifetime. I am tired now.
What i can say, i fought like fucking hell. I trained myself to make my way into society with the help of some good people. I will leave a lot of artworks on the topic of abuse and the results of such, may they just burn it all one day. I have now reached the end of the line, because i will not get another job due to the devastation all the violence i experienced has done to my cv. And i cant do it anymore. Being in the machine with this condition for so long has drained me.
But i am actually not so desperate. I have money for about a year without the world ever bothering me and i am somewhere where i can sit with others at a a cafe and watch over the sea as the sun goes down. My only sorrow is that i cant get sn or my attempt will fail. For the first time in my life, on the last part of the track, i have actually found some kind of peace, even if it is a deeply tired one.

 

[Dust&Moonlight]

Hey, all. I'm in my late 20s.

I've been lurking here off-and-on for the past year now, and figured it was time to finally join. Even if I don't post much, it'll be nice to have that option when I either want to vent, or simply have somewhere to talk to others.

Non-binary, but so far from where I want to be with that, that I still present as fully male to anyone around me. It's a big part of why I'm here; that constant miss-match between who I want to be, and what life (and society) has actually given me. I can't just do my hair differently (my hair's barely better than Tony Soprano's...) and put on some make-up to feel how they want to; if I wanted to feel comfortable in my own body, it would require and tens of thousands spent, and I have neither. My entire life so far has been spent knowing that there was something wrong, and never having the means or inclination to do anything about it. I'm the 'cautionary' part of the cautionary tale 'I Saw the TV Glow' was going on about.

Whilst I've never been diagnosed with anything, I've consistently displayed symptoms of depression, OCD, anxiety and autism. Though the second one in that list makes me constantly doubt myself on anything, so who knows what I have lol.

I tend to focus on film and gaming in my spare time, and like to go on longer walks when I have the energy to do so. Though all three are getting harder lately, and it's taking me longer and longer to actually do stuff. I'd also love to write, and create in some way, but I just do not have the energy. Either way, film is where my name and PFP comes from: Don Hertzfeldt's 'Its Such a Beautiful Day.' Amazing film.

 

[Tautochrome]

I'm V, I'm an insane lunatic in early 20s with not much life left, and I'm annoyed I still don't have access to the search feature.

 

[neckpillow]

Hello. I'm a not very tech savvy newcomer. I am 60+ and in a very different position to most posters here I think. I don't want to die, I'm terrified of it. I'm lucky to have a family who I love. But this week I received a terminal cancer diagnosis and I'm so, so scared of the slow and painful end that I think it will give me. I want to be able to control how I go out. But I must admit that I am finding the forum and acronyms all rather overwhelming. I had never heard of Tor until now, I don't know if I will be able to crack the dark web

Here is a link for acronyms :

Acronyms on here (for new users)

This is for new users on here. N stands for Nembutal. It's used in physician assisted suicide and to euthanize animals. You can find more information about it in the peaceful pill handbook. We aren't allowed to give personal information on people who have resources, so you'll have to also...

sanctioned-suicide.net

You can find it in the new member forum. I am older and want to be in control of when and how I exit. The methods are not available or very hard to access that I'd like to use and I am in the process of learning the dark web.

I'm sorry for your diagnosis and I hope you find peace and what you're looking for.

Hello. I'm a not very tech savvy newcomer. I am 60+ and in a very different position to most posters here I think. I don't want to die, I'm terrified of it. I'm lucky to have a family who I love. But this week I received a terminal cancer diagnosis and I'm so, so scared of the slow and painful end that I think it will give me. I want to be able to control how I go out. But I must admit that I am finding the forum and acronyms all rather overwhelming. I had never heard of Tor until now, I don't know if I will be able to crack the dark web

Acronym list link corrected:

Acronyms

i hate acronyms, i love tables don't use acronyms, please (this is just for lookup purposes) communication is extremely important (especially here), so don’t take shortcuts: Short Form Delimiter Long Form Notes AE = antiemetic AFAIC = as far as I'm concerned AFAIK = as far as I...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Chiyumine]

I won't bother, I'll probably get ignored here anyways. I hate everyone and want to die so that I can leave social darwnist slave society behind.

 

[Sphene]

Hi, I have been lurking for a while and finally decided to apply. I'm approaching my mid 30's (he/him) from Scandinavia. I've been dealing with chronic illness for most of my life and the past year has really taken it's toll, so while I currently have no plans - I have actively been looking into methods to end my suffering.

My mental health is all over the place. It goes in waves, from extreme anxiety to anhedonia, but the suicidal thoughts always remains.

I love animals and nature. I also like playing video games, reading books(mostly sci-fi), music, TV shows and Movies :)

Nice to meet you all, hope you're all doing ok :)

 

[no1absolfan]

im no1absolfan and you won't be able to guess my favourite pokemon

 

[deadanddecomposing]

Hey, I'm 22, female, and I've been struggling with suicidal ideation for 13 years now. My executive dysfunction has pretty much ruined my life and even a non-ruined life doesn't feel appealing enough to stick around for. Suicide has always lingered in the back of my mind well before I knew the word for it. I'm not sure if this is the space to go into my whole life story, so the tldr is I don't feel all that great. I've never had a space to discuss it so openly before and I'm looking forward to spending time here. Depending on whether or not there are enough classes available for me to be a full-time student, I may be ending it sooner rather than later. I'm waiting, though, because I want to be sure. Death is expensive, you know. Anyways, a bit about me is I love ornithilogy and the science behind human decomposition (my interest is weirdly completely unrelated to my suicidal ideation). I draw a lot and I'm not sure what else to put here.

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

 

[Xi-Xi]

Somehow I haven't introduced myself yet.

Hello, I'm Xi, a 19F from the Republic of China. I visit this forum when I'm not busy in my room. Usually I just sit in front of my computer, programming and doing IT stuff.

 

[devilmaycry]

hi! i'm dante , young adult male. i've been lurking on this site for 2 years now but have finally decided to actually use it and talk on here. i have a lot of disorders (DID, BPD, to name some) and a possible physical disability, life has not been kind to me. i've been struggling ever since i was around 9-10.

that aside, i am a huge nerd. i love drawing, music, cosplay and games (rpgs being my favorite!) i love love LOVE final fantasy (have played and love nearly all of them) / most things square enix and am fixated on expedition 33 at the moment, working on finishing it. ^_^

its nice to meet everyone and i hope i can make at leasgt one connection on sasu someday. <3

 

[calixocat]

Hello I'm a 19 year old college student who has no plans for their future, I like playing video games like Stardew valley, sims, unpacking and sometimes Roblox( a bit childish I know..) , I also like playing the keyboard and drawing . I've attempted to overdose on random stuff a couple of times ( like salt, diabetic meds my dad used to take, vitamins, paracetamol, etc), and im aroace.

 

[bliss.bmp]

hello! i'm not gonna say my real name for privacy reasons but you may call me bliss. i like making music, playing vidya, watching youtube... the usual stuff. my favorite color is blue. i don't believe i have a future, and am planning on ending my life in a couple of years time. hope i can hang in here before the end of it all. my favorite animals are sharks and wolves, they're really cool and some shark species are very cute. thank you.

 

[HansaNull]

hey, I'm HansaNull, 29y male.
I like music, playing guitar and watching youtube. I also like cooking sometimes when i have enough energy.
I've been dealing with depression since 16, suicidal around the same. Lost my mother to cancer at 13 which impacted me a lot. I have a lot of other problems, but i'll keep them to myself for now.
Been trying to get 'professional' help for many years, also tried a lot of different medications to no avail.
I discovered this site through a yt video, and had to check it out. Suicide is such a taboo topic, but i like how open and freely its discussed here. Looking forward to this experience!

 

[Glovesexguy]

Hi, I'm glovesexguy ( thank you random name generator!)
I am 49 and I live with my soon-to-be-ex. Waiting for divorce papers to go through the mill. We do not talk to each other and he doesn't care whether I live or die. I don't have kidthings.
I used to work in forensics, but after cancer decided to bump me in the noggin I have been rendered quite useless. No strength, no stamina, no appetite, dysfunctional brain, I can no longer read or write, and my short term memory is a joke.
So for the past 6 years I've been housebound. I hate it!!
Used to be very active, pro cycling, mountaineering, wild camping, skiing, skelton, travels... you name it.Yes i have adhd. Now I struggle putting socks on. I don't know what day it is.
The hardest part was that everyone promised be I'd be cured and fine it would just take some patience. So I put my patient-pants on. After 2 years they said there was no reason to think it'd get better and now (3 years later) I am a wreck. No joy in life whatsoever. And it's getting worse. Every day I lose another thing I was able to do before.
So my suicidal plan and wish is based on me not wanting to live like this for another 20-40 years. That's a scary thought. I've told my GP, she gets it and has listed me a dnr. I finally got to see a super psychologist after 5 years of waiting, but she doesnt know what to do with me. They all think this is rational and pragmatic and see no reason trying to talk me out of it.
"Are you depressed?" "No"
"Anxiety?" "No"
"Drugs or alcohol?" "No"
So no mental condition or problems, I just don't want to live like this. They agree, lol. But I do not feel all comfortable telling them *everything*, and I don't know what to say and not to say.
I will not be admitted no matter what I say though, as they have established i don't have a diagnosis that would warrant that. Plus ofc I have hospital-PTSD so they know it would be worse to send me there.

I spend most of my time listening to audiobooks, music and podcasts, pottering in the garage, and if body and weather allows it I go on trips with my motorbike. Loooooong trips!!! Its winter here now, so not much of that for a while. Was gonna take the bike to my spot, but I will take partners car as I'm not sure i wanna wait until may/start of season.
I also want to build a forge. I can't. Fun to pretend though :)

 

[yume_]

helloooooo, i'm yume! Its a pleasure to meet you! im brazillian and am a young man ( he/him )
I've discovered this site through a yt video, i've wanted to check this site out of curiosity and I guess my thoughts on this site changed since lurking around here.
I don't have any disorders or anything similar, though I haven't been diagnosed yet so who knows right? lol
I like video games, anime, manga, and Specially Music! I really like jpop and vocaloid. Artists like: Ado, Yoasobi, Yorushika, TUYU, Kikuo.
I also play drums! though i haven't been practising so much but i can play relatively well.
I am still learning english ( have a B2 certificate ) and am learning japanese ( am aiming to get N5 ).
Well, I hope to be of use and i hope to meet a lot of cool people here. If you have any music recommendations u can send me ( but i think my PMs aren't open yet ).

 

[starryend]

Heya, im starryend ig (she/her) i'm in my late 20's.
I like jrpgs, anime, and rock music.
I've been struggling with heavy thoughts of ending it for most of my life due to childhood trauma, and more so with my current living situation and just generally what adulthood has been like for me, and am apparently really good at hiding it because no one can tell that I'm even depressed to begin with.
I'm big on final fantasy games, trying to get through as many as I can, and I hope to make friends here.

 

[TiredTraveler]

Hi. I'm a guy in his mid 20's from Finland. Figured I'd introduce myself.

Always been depressed, at least as an adult. Had a pretty dogshit childhood filled with abuse until I had the chance to move out when I was 18. Unfortunately the mental scars never quite healed and affected me pretty deeply to the point of nonexistent social life and constant nightmares. I don't sleep too well these days and just feel like a goddamn zombie mindlessly drifting from one day to another. Don't even have any interest in the field I've studied anymore.
Tried to CTB for the first time by partial hanging back in 2022 but I chickened out. Haven't told anyone about my attempt to date. I think this post might be the first time I've opened up about it actually.
Never got much support from my parents either. Abusive racist pieces of shit who don't really believe in mental illnesses and constantly look down on others despite their own life situation. I've tried to talk to them about my issues multiple times in my life but they'd rather twist a false narrative "because our son's not a mentally ill degenerate". "Oh it must be the allergy medicine our son is using that's making him feel these bad thoughts! Oh, you're just doing it for attention!" They might honestly be some of the few people I wish were dead more than myself.

Despite my personal issues my life's had its ups and downs, though 2026 isn't looking too good for me. I've never been the wealthiest, came from a very poor family and I've barely gotten along for the past 7 years. Money situation's not looking too good for the next year though and I'm afraid I might end up homeless next year and have to move back in with my parents (Assuming I don't either magically win the lottery or get a properly paying job but good luck finding work in this economy).

Sincere apologies if this post seems overly dramatic. Not sure how to really open up about such a personal topic.


As for something more lighthearted, I do try to keep myself occupied with some actual hobbies. I'm into Cooking/Baking, video games and music. Used to love cycling too when I still had a bike once.

 

[ineedsomerest]

hi there 29m from shithole toronto. Looking to make a genuine connection with someone soon. I enjoy music production, philosophy, video games, cooking, hiking, weed.
I have discord if ya want to chat. @ant1ant2

 

[thelittleprincess]

Hey. I am newly 18 (since august) and female. You can call me Charlie. I'm just tired of everything. I'm just so tired. I still feel like such a child. from america which is going to shit by the way, I have drinking issues already and pretty sure my family is sick of me. I like to draw people pregnant when they piss me off. Other than that I enjoy guitar, painting (acrylic & watercolor), writing (poetry, novels, songs), and playing video games sometimes. Although recently I haven't had enough energy for much of anything. Don't have much hope for life. Freshly broken up with and pretty sure I'm gonna die alone. That's all, have a nice day x