notanormalguy
New Member
- Aug 7, 2025
- 4
You can call me Felix, I like gaming art and nature, was thinking of trying to ctb out in the country because of it but I wouldn't want to harm the local environment with my rotting corpse. I've decided that it's not gonna get better for me. I have a lot of issues; childhood trauma that I can't get over, basically I was molested and everyone took his side when I tried to report, he ended up getting off with no consequences while I am traumatized, It really fucked up my brain I tried therapy for it I didn't like any of them on my insurance and i couldn't pay for any better ones. I pretty debilitating autism and just generally low intelligence that I am constantly mocked for. I have gender dysphoria despite having both transitioned and done literal conversion therapy. I struggle to maintain friendships let alone romantic relationships, which I doubt I could ever get a woman or even man to truly love me unless a miracle happens and I get a lot of money or something. I am very often treated badly for my differences and I'm very poor and doubt I will be able to get out of it. I also just kind of don't like being alive, like I don't find much enjoyment in everything, I think even if I was wealthy and healthy I would still want to ctb. Tried meds, healthy lifestyle, religion, none of it worked. I tried to ctb before via hanging a few times but the moment I started actually suffocating survival instinct came in I got scared and ended up thrashing around and stopping it so Im hoping to find a better method on here but am still trying to figure that out, I also I am still deciding on date but I am gonna have to wait at least another year since I have some stuff I need to get done first, so you guys might have me around for a while lol. Im glad I found this place because anywhere else would just tell me not to do it and says it will get better (as if mental illness suddenly disappears one day) and other useless advice, I was forced to come into this world so I should be allowed to go whenever I want. Nice to meet you all :)
hello and welcome to sasu
