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drownll

drownll

Student
Jul 7, 2023
136
It's insane how much i've been self sabotaging.
To make it short, I managed to enter the marine as a last resort, even though i didn't trained at all. Bootcamp was hard but I managed to go through it, right now we have a vacation break and we have the final tests next week.
I haven't done shit in the last 2 weeks, i've been eating shit and didn't trained, and haven't studied. I fear I will fail, I feel like I lost all the gains i made during bootcamp. I would have done all that for nothing and my last hope would be gone.
Inb4 "why are you in the military while being suicidal" I'm actually very stable and "normal" when it comes to work, so I don't feel like a danger at all in the military, I would never kms in service. I'm a lot more sane than some of the dudes who were with me actually.
If I fail and they don't give me a second chance, I will not be able to go back to my miserable situation, I will have to ctb quickly
 
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